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Monday, May 12, 2008
EMERGENCY NEWSFLASH! PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS TO THE NATION
"Yesterday, May 11th,2008, a date that will live in infamy,the United Jars of Cookies, was suddenly and deliberately attacked by viral and unknown forces of the Empire of Diarrhea.
The United Jars of Cookies was at peace with the Empire of Diarrhea,and at the solicitation of the Empire of Diarrhea, was in conversation with its government looking toward the maintenance of peace in the abdomen region.(after just recovering from diarrhea a week before)
Indeed after one hour of Diarrhea virus commenced bombing of Pearl Harbour(toilet bowl),til the wee mornings of May 12th,2008,the defending forces of the United Jars of Cookies was forced to conduct shuttle runs to safeguard the intergity of its sovereignity,between its base(bedroom) and the main Area of Operations(toilet bowl).
The attack on Pearl Harbour has caused severe damage to Cookie forces. I regret to tell you,that many white blood cells and fluids were lost.
As commander in chief of the white blood cells and fluids, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.
Hostilities and illness exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our Jar full of Cookies,and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our defensive systems,and the SAF Medical Corps, with the unbounding limit of power of the Cross,we will gain the inevitable triumph,so help us God.
I ask that the Senate of the Jars declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Diarrhea on Sunday, May 11th 2008, a state of war has existed between the United Jars of Cookies and the Empire of Diarrhea."
"Yesterday, May 11th,2008, a date that will live in infamy,the United Jars of Cookies, was suddenly and deliberately attacked by viral and unknown forces of the Empire of Diarrhea.
The United Jars of Cookies was at peace with the Empire of Diarrhea,and at the solicitation of the Empire of Diarrhea, was in conversation with its government looking toward the maintenance of peace in the abdomen region.(after just recovering from diarrhea a week before)
Indeed after one hour of Diarrhea virus commenced bombing of Pearl Harbour(toilet bowl),til the wee mornings of May 12th,2008,the defending forces of the United Jars of Cookies was forced to conduct shuttle runs to safeguard the intergity of its sovereignity,between its base(bedroom) and the main Area of Operations(toilet bowl).
The attack on Pearl Harbour has caused severe damage to Cookie forces. I regret to tell you,that many white blood cells and fluids were lost.
As commander in chief of the white blood cells and fluids, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.
Hostilities and illness exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our Jar full of Cookies,and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our defensive systems,and the SAF Medical Corps, with the unbounding limit of power of the Cross,we will gain the inevitable triumph,so help us God.
I ask that the Senate of the Jars declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Diarrhea on Sunday, May 11th 2008, a state of war has existed between the United Jars of Cookies and the Empire of Diarrhea."
Unknown Source at 7:22 PM