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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I watched Happy Feet today. It wasn't half-bad. Cute! Mumbo! Haha... 7 bucks just like that fly. Just like "Mumbo" flew when he jumped off that cliff. Brave little penguin... woots!
Haha. Initially went to Vivo city,and unfortunately I was late =S Ended up eating at harbour front center and watching the movie at Tiong Bahru. Interesting trip to Vivocity,but i saw enough to make me wanna go back at night to look at the panaromic view,or as panaromic as it can get in S'pore. =D
Interestingly,the movie had some elements of conservative vs charismatic church debate. The hero is like some rogue member of the conservative part turning to the whole part into a hyper charismatic one,and along the way,finding some time to save the world! hahas. I think i'll rate this movie....... 3.5 out of 5 nachos!
Unknown Source at 1:20 AM
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Someone gotta remind me to make my font size bigger next time. I think my long long paragraphs coupled with mini words are a pain in the eye. Need to spare a thought for those with eye problems. Today still hear so many testimonials about miracle healings in the eye cos of the Holy Spirit. Heart moving man... Haha.
Enjoyed choir today also. My last chance this month. Gotta say I really like it a lot,loads of fun,not the normal kind of fun, cos the people there , i cant really connect with. But it was fun learning new stuff and worshipping. I like the last part especially. From the first time i first stepped into FCBC back in 2004,the worship part always scared me. I remember how turned off I was in 2002 when I first went to church service in East Coast,then they were worshipping. 2004 I was super blur during worship. And in 2006;Expo,I was trying my best not to feel so stupid and just go with the flow. But now i understand more and can just concentrate more on God during worship sessions. Go choir!
While it was the last time i went choir,it was the first time I attended one of Ahpa's many meetings. Haha. Quite by accident. Nearly went home,instead stopped to pei somebody,and turned back with another friend cos we were worried another of our friends will be alone after her meeting in expo. Eventually ended up in LJ to attend the cell advance meeting. Rather interesting,not the planning. I think i've been to too many planning sessions in all sorts of activities to feel any excitement le. but just interesting and refreshing to know the works behind all those events in cell and tribe levels. Eye opening...
Just goes to show how much a single day can hold in experiences. Just need to learn to make full use of whatever time we have on earth,and life can bring many many meaningful and enriching lessons.
"
Walk with my eyes open....."
Enjoyed choir today also. My last chance this month. Gotta say I really like it a lot,loads of fun,not the normal kind of fun, cos the people there , i cant really connect with. But it was fun learning new stuff and worshipping. I like the last part especially. From the first time i first stepped into FCBC back in 2004,the worship part always scared me. I remember how turned off I was in 2002 when I first went to church service in East Coast,then they were worshipping. 2004 I was super blur during worship. And in 2006;Expo,I was trying my best not to feel so stupid and just go with the flow. But now i understand more and can just concentrate more on God during worship sessions. Go choir!
While it was the last time i went choir,it was the first time I attended one of Ahpa's many meetings. Haha. Quite by accident. Nearly went home,instead stopped to pei somebody,and turned back with another friend cos we were worried another of our friends will be alone after her meeting in expo. Eventually ended up in LJ to attend the cell advance meeting. Rather interesting,not the planning. I think i've been to too many planning sessions in all sorts of activities to feel any excitement le. but just interesting and refreshing to know the works behind all those events in cell and tribe levels. Eye opening...
Just goes to show how much a single day can hold in experiences. Just need to learn to make full use of whatever time we have on earth,and life can bring many many meaningful and enriching lessons.
"
Walk with my eyes open....." Unknown Source at 11:05 PM
Reflection time! After a half day-filled of activities at East Coast Park. Amazing race thing,while really disorganised,still a platform in its own right. Somehow managed to cycle around without knowing its against the rules,and apparently,the rules were changed halfway through the game. Registration was a mess too. Well..u get the idea.
So anyways,i hear people complain about the whole thing. About how early they had to wake up just to go for this "dumb,messy race thingy". Undeniably,I had the same feeling. Strong urge to criticise,a lot to say ar.. But sometimes,its not nice to do so,even to people who're closer to u and saying the same thing. So I tried pre-occupying my mind with the tasks to do rather than the problems of the whole thing. Its not for me to say anything anyway,not as if Im their supervisor,then have to give report at the end of the day. Someone told me after the whole thing. Said something like because of the disorganisation and the whole "not-enthu" feeling,then she herself feels down and out. So hard to lift herself out to be "high" and engage.
Yet i wonder,is it all there is to it? I mean,minor details like this,are what the name implies;minor. Do all things minor matter so much to the very heart of the matter? haha. Sound so chim... But then what i mean is simply whether we're letting the things around us affect whats inside us?
Just a few days ago,I let what was around me get to my mind. After that,my imagination just took over and built up this wall of loneliness around me. Needless to say that feeling sucked. Only after this wall was broken down by this gigantic hammer called God's common sense,did I checked whether what i was feeling was true or not. Similarly,what happened today created impressions upon people,and those impressions built prejudice and mindsets that influenced thoughts hence,actions. Actions in turn build up more impressions and the whole cycle repeats. Vicious! Haha.
I think my weakest point thus far,is the way I allow events outside me to influence my relationships with people. Things they say,or do can make me feel a difference in the way I relate to them. While minor,I take notice of such things and remember them. Maybe thats why I felt so lousy a few days back,so insecure cos of the way I lose control over my own feelings. So pathetic,losing ownself. Lose other things still not that bad,but losing ownself very embarrassing la. Guess thats one struggle I really need to work on.... No more reading too much into how people feel about me and how I feel about them! Er...or at least I try ah. No high level of confidence =X
So anyways,i hear people complain about the whole thing. About how early they had to wake up just to go for this "dumb,messy race thingy". Undeniably,I had the same feeling. Strong urge to criticise,a lot to say ar.. But sometimes,its not nice to do so,even to people who're closer to u and saying the same thing. So I tried pre-occupying my mind with the tasks to do rather than the problems of the whole thing. Its not for me to say anything anyway,not as if Im their supervisor,then have to give report at the end of the day. Someone told me after the whole thing. Said something like because of the disorganisation and the whole "not-enthu" feeling,then she herself feels down and out. So hard to lift herself out to be "high" and engage.
Yet i wonder,is it all there is to it? I mean,minor details like this,are what the name implies;minor. Do all things minor matter so much to the very heart of the matter? haha. Sound so chim... But then what i mean is simply whether we're letting the things around us affect whats inside us?
Just a few days ago,I let what was around me get to my mind. After that,my imagination just took over and built up this wall of loneliness around me. Needless to say that feeling sucked. Only after this wall was broken down by this gigantic hammer called God's common sense,did I checked whether what i was feeling was true or not. Similarly,what happened today created impressions upon people,and those impressions built prejudice and mindsets that influenced thoughts hence,actions. Actions in turn build up more impressions and the whole cycle repeats. Vicious! Haha.
I think my weakest point thus far,is the way I allow events outside me to influence my relationships with people. Things they say,or do can make me feel a difference in the way I relate to them. While minor,I take notice of such things and remember them. Maybe thats why I felt so lousy a few days back,so insecure cos of the way I lose control over my own feelings. So pathetic,losing ownself. Lose other things still not that bad,but losing ownself very embarrassing la. Guess thats one struggle I really need to work on.... No more reading too much into how people feel about me and how I feel about them! Er...or at least I try ah. No high level of confidence =X
Unknown Source at 12:17 AM
Friday, November 24, 2006
Back home on this lazy,wet and cooling Friday afternoon. A bit no life,friday's are good for going out and doing things. But Im at home not exactly slacking either. Never realised how much admin can clog out if left alone for just 2 days. Oh well.. relax relax
Unfortunately last night I didnt have that relax relax mentality. A bit stressed out,pressured and tired. Dunno how it happened,but i became very grouchy and moody. Anti-social mode activated. Haha. thats what usually happens to me when I feel vulnerable and sluggish. Needless to say,it wasnt a good experience for me or the people around me. And for that, Im sorry.
Well,its a lesson learnt at least. Many times I hear people telling me to stay secure in the Lord. Last night i found out what it was like if I didnt focus and stay secure in the Lord. An added incentive to focus. Funny how a single mistake can teach more than what a dozen people say.
Lesson learnt: Staying cheerful in the knowledge that all things are done and prevented not by self,but by The One Above.
Unfortunately last night I didnt have that relax relax mentality. A bit stressed out,pressured and tired. Dunno how it happened,but i became very grouchy and moody. Anti-social mode activated. Haha. thats what usually happens to me when I feel vulnerable and sluggish. Needless to say,it wasnt a good experience for me or the people around me. And for that, Im sorry.
Well,its a lesson learnt at least. Many times I hear people telling me to stay secure in the Lord. Last night i found out what it was like if I didnt focus and stay secure in the Lord. An added incentive to focus. Funny how a single mistake can teach more than what a dozen people say.
Lesson learnt: Staying cheerful in the knowledge that all things are done and prevented not by self,but by The One Above.
Unknown Source at 3:03 PM
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Hmmm,I got like 10 min to blog. Got home at 1640,somebody predicted I'll get home at this time man, accurate! hAha. Gotta leave house in 20 min time for choir practise. This part of my busy holidays is almost done! Got past the chalet,job interview,prom shopping. Now for the practice,unit camp,ECP outing,and that secret mission!!! Hehe..
Going all out this week. Already feeling very tired,not enough sleep recently. My muscles are lethargic,brain cells working overtime,eye bags shamelessly big and black. But thats a new opportunity to test my discipline. Even in the upward gradient of the journey,chargers crawl their way up. If they stop,they lose momentum and gravity will pull them back. Likewise,if I stop being disciplined in my household chores,committments and mannerisms,then Im just going to get sucked back by whatever that is pulling me back now. But hey,no black eye,nor tiring muscles are going to bring me down! Thats too lame...
The job interview may not have gone well,my prom handling still hangs in the balance,but Im sure if I keep trying there's going to be a way out. Didnt expect to be able to do a lot of things today also,cos too tired. but still managed to accomplish quite a number of errands i didnt thought possible 3-4 months ago. Trying to stay secure with my discipline and faith. But still in the trying phase,not very confident I'll not tumble at some point. yet looking back on today,I think that confidence level just increased a notch or too. And its not really my own doing....Yay for Jesus! Jehovah Jireh. Thanks for the taxis,money,friends,makan and fun today!
Going all out this week. Already feeling very tired,not enough sleep recently. My muscles are lethargic,brain cells working overtime,eye bags shamelessly big and black. But thats a new opportunity to test my discipline. Even in the upward gradient of the journey,chargers crawl their way up. If they stop,they lose momentum and gravity will pull them back. Likewise,if I stop being disciplined in my household chores,committments and mannerisms,then Im just going to get sucked back by whatever that is pulling me back now. But hey,no black eye,nor tiring muscles are going to bring me down! Thats too lame...
The job interview may not have gone well,my prom handling still hangs in the balance,but Im sure if I keep trying there's going to be a way out. Didnt expect to be able to do a lot of things today also,cos too tired. but still managed to accomplish quite a number of errands i didnt thought possible 3-4 months ago. Trying to stay secure with my discipline and faith. But still in the trying phase,not very confident I'll not tumble at some point. yet looking back on today,I think that confidence level just increased a notch or too. And its not really my own doing....Yay for Jesus! Jehovah Jireh. Thanks for the taxis,money,friends,makan and fun today!
Unknown Source at 5:08 PM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Well,this the number 10th post. Rather "young" blog by that count eh... So its time to make it more mature! Haha. Trying to post everyday now. Or else no live ar,this blog. Time to publicise my blog also,now that its more or less done.
Today very relaxing,just stay at home,do some chores,fool around with blogs. I think I went through like a hundred blogskins,changed skins for 3 different blogs more than 10 times. Busy busy busy in the virtual world. Tmr cannot like that le,I wanna go out!
Class chalet tmr.Yeah! But big bucks gonna fly away easy too. Almost desperate to get a job le,or else Im really going to run out of money by the end of December. Im barely surviving as it is now,wonder what it will be like next month. Oh well,not going to worry too much. Im sure a way will be provided if I just spend wisely.
Hmmm..my take for today: Discipline.
Was supposed to run some errands concerning my dog. But I put it off,cos of a lack of discipline. Consequently, Im adding on more things to do for this week. What with the prom shopping and camps etc,its going to be tight. Even all the prom shopping and activities need discipline. The main difference with that is how I see it. Some are more fun,others more dry. But one thing remains,they STILL NEED TO BE DONE! And i guess that takes discipline to carry them out in the best of my abilities.
Today very relaxing,just stay at home,do some chores,fool around with blogs. I think I went through like a hundred blogskins,changed skins for 3 different blogs more than 10 times. Busy busy busy in the virtual world. Tmr cannot like that le,I wanna go out!
Class chalet tmr.Yeah! But big bucks gonna fly away easy too. Almost desperate to get a job le,or else Im really going to run out of money by the end of December. Im barely surviving as it is now,wonder what it will be like next month. Oh well,not going to worry too much. Im sure a way will be provided if I just spend wisely.
Hmmm..my take for today: Discipline.
Was supposed to run some errands concerning my dog. But I put it off,cos of a lack of discipline. Consequently, Im adding on more things to do for this week. What with the prom shopping and camps etc,its going to be tight. Even all the prom shopping and activities need discipline. The main difference with that is how I see it. Some are more fun,others more dry. But one thing remains,they STILL NEED TO BE DONE! And i guess that takes discipline to carry them out in the best of my abilities.
Unknown Source at 11:54 PM
Monday, November 20, 2006
Yes I'm back. Back from the struggle in my mind of information-overloading. Can u see the steam emitting from my ears? thats the fires of the struggle being doused by cool,refreshing waters of relaxation.
Been looking for a new blogskin,and Kaiyee obliged with my wants,popping out with a really cool skin. Haha. Now,if anybody can tell me how to add music inside..... "I don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith should complement this skin. haha. With time on my hands,I guess I should go for proficiency courses on blogging le. Still,I cant spend too much time infront of the computer,so Im wary on getting too into blogging.
Just when the exams are over,U'd think that the stress levels will plummet and the PSI (Play-til-Siao indicator) will soar. But on the contary,my immediate reaction was 'wah..over le ar?' Quite lost after the exams ended.Not as if there's nothing to do,not that kind of sian feeling. Conversely,its that too many things to do until dunno how to go about starting it. The thing about these many things are the very nature of them. While I have been studying and been so into books,knowledge and memory,now these new tasks to do are a different sort. Planning,working,engaging inter-personally,absorbing non-academic stuff. Different genre la,don't really know how to put it. But its as if after mediating and drilling itself on how to swim for over 10 years,a frog has to learn how to fly,walk,and drive a car at the same time. In a few months time. Haha.
Ah well,enough about myself. Everyday nowadays my thoughts will drift to a dear friend of mine. Not in the obsessive way mind u,but in a way that she always reminds me of the things in my life. She's going through a really difficult period in her life now. Way more difficult than anything i have ever encountered. Yet she's still pushing for that scholarship! Among the top in the whole country man,and not in a small tiny country of 4 million people man! Haha. We told each other that whatever happens in our own lifes,it'd be a source of reminder how topsy turvy it can change in a moment,and how it never happens the way we want it to be. So we gotta brave through it and just come out even stronger. There're gonna be even more trying periods ahead. The thing is that there is no escape key to run away from these periods,so the only thing do-able is keep charging ahead. Like a torpedo which optical wires have been cut,it can only charge ahead in search of the final target to hit,no changing course,to turning back,and no destructing before achieving what needs to be done. Even when the current in the waters get too turbulent and the head currencies are bogging down the torp,it still glides ahead,sometimes not in a smooth manner,and sometimes at very slow speeds. Yet glide forward it does. And when it senses its target,it picks up speed for the kill and zooms straight towards the destination. By the time it hits its target,its speed is close to its maximum and the impact is the greatest.
Its the same in life isn't it. Wondering around when we have no guidance,just trying to fight our way forward and all the time thinking when is it going to be over and done. But when a target finally appears in our sight,there is a sort of guidance as to what path to take. And the motivation and adrenaline levels are pumped,and the whole journey is so much easier to undertake and complete in the biggest banging fashion possible! I can only pray that both my friend's and my lifes are that torpedo with a target already in its homing sensors,with the loud active pinging scaring the shit out of whatever is in our way and our bodies taking us to our desired destinations swiftly.
May our aim be true and God guide us like that target does.
Been looking for a new blogskin,and Kaiyee obliged with my wants,popping out with a really cool skin. Haha. Now,if anybody can tell me how to add music inside..... "I don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith should complement this skin. haha. With time on my hands,I guess I should go for proficiency courses on blogging le. Still,I cant spend too much time infront of the computer,so Im wary on getting too into blogging.
Just when the exams are over,U'd think that the stress levels will plummet and the PSI (Play-til-Siao indicator) will soar. But on the contary,my immediate reaction was 'wah..over le ar?' Quite lost after the exams ended.Not as if there's nothing to do,not that kind of sian feeling. Conversely,its that too many things to do until dunno how to go about starting it. The thing about these many things are the very nature of them. While I have been studying and been so into books,knowledge and memory,now these new tasks to do are a different sort. Planning,working,engaging inter-personally,absorbing non-academic stuff. Different genre la,don't really know how to put it. But its as if after mediating and drilling itself on how to swim for over 10 years,a frog has to learn how to fly,walk,and drive a car at the same time. In a few months time. Haha.
Ah well,enough about myself. Everyday nowadays my thoughts will drift to a dear friend of mine. Not in the obsessive way mind u,but in a way that she always reminds me of the things in my life. She's going through a really difficult period in her life now. Way more difficult than anything i have ever encountered. Yet she's still pushing for that scholarship! Among the top in the whole country man,and not in a small tiny country of 4 million people man! Haha. We told each other that whatever happens in our own lifes,it'd be a source of reminder how topsy turvy it can change in a moment,and how it never happens the way we want it to be. So we gotta brave through it and just come out even stronger. There're gonna be even more trying periods ahead. The thing is that there is no escape key to run away from these periods,so the only thing do-able is keep charging ahead. Like a torpedo which optical wires have been cut,it can only charge ahead in search of the final target to hit,no changing course,to turning back,and no destructing before achieving what needs to be done. Even when the current in the waters get too turbulent and the head currencies are bogging down the torp,it still glides ahead,sometimes not in a smooth manner,and sometimes at very slow speeds. Yet glide forward it does. And when it senses its target,it picks up speed for the kill and zooms straight towards the destination. By the time it hits its target,its speed is close to its maximum and the impact is the greatest.
Its the same in life isn't it. Wondering around when we have no guidance,just trying to fight our way forward and all the time thinking when is it going to be over and done. But when a target finally appears in our sight,there is a sort of guidance as to what path to take. And the motivation and adrenaline levels are pumped,and the whole journey is so much easier to undertake and complete in the biggest banging fashion possible! I can only pray that both my friend's and my lifes are that torpedo with a target already in its homing sensors,with the loud active pinging scaring the shit out of whatever is in our way and our bodies taking us to our desired destinations swiftly.
May our aim be true and God guide us like that target does.
Unknown Source at 1:58 PM
Monday, November 06, 2006
GP down! 8 more papers to go.. yay! *in a very falsely cheerful voice*
Too bad it feels like its over for me. Its as if I know what needs to be done and whats expected of me but I cant find the heart to power the drive to do it. Bah! Tagline these few days...No mood to study. Still trying,but find it a chore and very dry.. Sucks. Whats wrong with me man?! sO darn inconsistent!
Don't feel like myself these few days. Initially I thought its just the stress of doing a few things and the exams,but I cant be sure.Dark and pessimistic post.. Bah.. But hopefully after this some of that angry pressurizing steam generated by whatever can be let off.Woohoo!!
*sianified* Theme for now.. Dont talk to people much recently also,clamping everything inside. I wish that werent the case sia..but dunno how to. just cant find a way to explain how I feel. Doing QT nowadays is really frustrating. No matter how tired,I still leave time to do it. But no breakthrough,cant feel any revelation. Keep reading and reading and searching,trying to understand what is written and find ways to apply it to me,but feel like(in the words of somebody)
Falling sick again,just after injuring my leg. Still cant really bend my knees without some pain,and the grazes and cuts are still rather gross. Still,that doesnt really bother me with all the other circumstances round me. People seemingly falling into depression cos of work,studies,relationships. Could it be me letting these things get into my head? That might explain it...
Well,Im not in a business of finding the root cause. What I need is the cure. Sometimes its necessary to know the root to find the cure. But for now,Im putting all these into the hands of my Creator,perhaps all I need is patience and trust in him ya...
Til next time then,will be updating whenever possible,whenever I feel like I need to find some outlet. =D
Too bad it feels like its over for me. Its as if I know what needs to be done and whats expected of me but I cant find the heart to power the drive to do it. Bah! Tagline these few days...No mood to study. Still trying,but find it a chore and very dry.. Sucks. Whats wrong with me man?! sO darn inconsistent!
Don't feel like myself these few days. Initially I thought its just the stress of doing a few things and the exams,but I cant be sure.Dark and pessimistic post.. Bah.. But hopefully after this some of that angry pressurizing steam generated by whatever can be let off.Woohoo!!
*sianified* Theme for now.. Dont talk to people much recently also,clamping everything inside. I wish that werent the case sia..but dunno how to. just cant find a way to explain how I feel. Doing QT nowadays is really frustrating. No matter how tired,I still leave time to do it. But no breakthrough,cant feel any revelation. Keep reading and reading and searching,trying to understand what is written and find ways to apply it to me,but feel like(in the words of somebody)
Falling sick again,just after injuring my leg. Still cant really bend my knees without some pain,and the grazes and cuts are still rather gross. Still,that doesnt really bother me with all the other circumstances round me. People seemingly falling into depression cos of work,studies,relationships. Could it be me letting these things get into my head? That might explain it...
Well,Im not in a business of finding the root cause. What I need is the cure. Sometimes its necessary to know the root to find the cure. But for now,Im putting all these into the hands of my Creator,perhaps all I need is patience and trust in him ya...
Til next time then,will be updating whenever possible,whenever I feel like I need to find some outlet. =D
Unknown Source at 11:26 PM