Why do we love?

Reflection time! After a half day-filled of activities at East Coast Park. Amazing race thing,while really disorganised,still a platform in its own right. Somehow managed to cycle around without knowing its against the rules,and apparently,the rules were changed halfway through the game. Registration was a mess too. Well..u get the idea.

So anyways,i hear people complain about the whole thing. About how early they had to wake up just to go for this "dumb,messy race thingy". Undeniably,I had the same feeling. Strong urge to criticise,a lot to say ar.. But sometimes,its not nice to do so,even to people who're closer to u and saying the same thing. So I tried pre-occupying my mind with the tasks to do rather than the problems of the whole thing. Its not for me to say anything anyway,not as if Im their supervisor,then have to give report at the end of the day. Someone told me after the whole thing. Said something like because of the disorganisation and the whole "not-enthu" feeling,then she herself feels down and out. So hard to lift herself out to be "high" and engage.

Yet i wonder,is it all there is to it? I mean,minor details like this,are what the name implies;minor. Do all things minor matter so much to the very heart of the matter? haha. Sound so chim... But then what i mean is simply whether we're letting the things around us affect whats inside us?

Just a few days ago,I let what was around me get to my mind. After that,my imagination just took over and built up this wall of loneliness around me. Needless to say that feeling sucked. Only after this wall was broken down by this gigantic hammer called God's common sense,did I checked whether what i was feeling was true or not. Similarly,what happened today created impressions upon people,and those impressions built prejudice and mindsets that influenced thoughts hence,actions. Actions in turn build up more impressions and the whole cycle repeats. Vicious! Haha.

I think my weakest point thus far,is the way I allow events outside me to influence my relationships with people. Things they say,or do can make me feel a difference in the way I relate to them. While minor,I take notice of such things and remember them. Maybe thats why I felt so lousy a few days back,so insecure cos of the way I lose control over my own feelings. So pathetic,losing ownself. Lose other things still not that bad,but losing ownself very embarrassing la. Guess thats one struggle I really need to work on.... No more reading too much into how people feel about me and how I feel about them! Er...or at least I try ah. No high level of confidence =X