coOkies in His Jar

2010-04-23T21:45:00.002+08:00

"Shout to the Lord, all the earth!
Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God,
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksigving and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him and praise his name,
for the Lord is good and his love endures forever,
his faithfulness continues through all generation!"

The psalm in my head at this period of "busy-ness" and stress. Never lose sight of what I'm really here for!

2010-03-22T14:10:00.001+08:00

Its not about me, or the things I expect but the God that gives me things and God himself.

2010-03-10T15:54:00.004+08:00

Watched "Hotel Rwanda" today. Recorded it on Monday on the spur of the moment when I was flipping channels. And in that moment borned moments where I see in vivid pictures how humanity has failed the initial purposes God meant for a world he created. Love.

A movie,based on a true story, where in the words of the main lead's actual persona, "(movie) was a lot less violent than what happened". It was set in the backdrop of the events leading up to and during the Rwanda Genocide of 1994-1995, and made me appreciate how lucky we are here in SG. If shedding tears over a touching love story was forgivable, then tearing at the inhumane loss of lives and limbs, lost of family in front of one's eyes, separation of husband and wife, parents and children, selfless sacrifice for a stranger but a brother of the same race nonetheless, self-shame of being afraid and being powerless at saving the distressed masses....are definitely nothing to be paiseh about.

Separation: a feeling of fear and uncertainity

Abandonment- a feeling of hopelessness and despair

While the scenes in the movie were heartwrenching to watch, I can only imagine how much worse it must have been when it actually happened. This leads me to my main conclusion abeit from the failure of humanity. Our only hope: Jesus Christ, the only one who died for billions in the face of impending death and fear. People say fear makes us human, the inbuilt primate reactions in us of fight or flee comes from fear. But Christ died to show us that "perfect love drives out fear".

In the word of the late MJ, heal the world indeed. Without love, things tend to become more complicated than they really are.

"This is the message you have heard from the BEGINNING: We should love one another" -1 John 3:11

2010-03-02T22:35:00.002+08:00

Exam period! *Stress* Never mug so much in my life before. and never felt so pissed at exam timetable before.

2 papers on first sat, then friday evening paper and end off with another sat paper, not as if school no space during the weekdays DAYTIME.

Anyway,doubt I will pass this time round. Really need God's help in this,and learning to pray everyday on that. If I work, I work. If I pray, God works.

Swee...

2010-02-21T22:55:00.004+08:00

5 more days to exam! OMG so fast...

Went to study at airport today, and sat beside this darn smelly bangla... really quite bad. As in the smell. Usually sit beside stinky people still can get used to it after awhile,but this guy. Whoo man, it was overpowering, in every sense of it. After I get off the bus still can smell, and i actually turned the aircon towards my nose to ward it off... Wow man! But poor guy la, think he has it worse than me. He has to tahan himself til he gets back to wherever. SMRT should consider putting air freshners in their buses.

Anyways, 5 days! Really must get back to mugging now... *xiong* Lost the mugging skill liao...

2010-02-05T23:23:00.002+08:00

Singapore must have a lot of inconsiderate middle-aged to greying uncles. Some idiot parked his bicycle next to mine, and when he unlocks his own bike, he lets mine fall to the ground and leaves it. Chain got disconnected and made me waste my time. LKY says S'poreans are too lazy, think he should start a campaign on Old Singapore not equals Current Singapore. The inconsiderate and uncivilised behaviours of old people should not be allowed to contaminate our society, just as much as the young should not stop working to "maintain our fragile national fabric".

Baby boomers means wisdom? Pha... more like small-mindedness and stupidity. No wonder more and more of the younger generation are looking to migrating or even studying overseas if just to escape the "heat from our sunny island".

And got a callup from Mindef in May, in my exam period. How dumb can the gahmen be? Private or local school also means school what. How difficult can that logic be to understand?

2010-01-09T00:49:00.002+08:00

Well i try and try. Just like some dumb animal knowing what it wants, yet not knowing exactly how about to get to it. But im not a dumb animal, Im a God-breathed intelligent creature. Ironic how the smart ones sometimes do things the not-so-intelligent way. I'm placing my bets on it being that the smart ones find themselves in too much things to handle than they think they actually can.

"Pace yourself" Old words but new everyday, these are. Well, the path has been chosen. "Merger!" cried the city bells. And so it shall be. Another cry, less certain but a cry nontheless rings too. "Merdeka?" Time will tell.

2010-01-01T23:00:00.003+08:00

Praise God! The God who is in heaven and all the earth.
Nations fall and rise, leaders grow and stumble
But my God is eternal!
Unshaken, almighty,powerful
Yet gentle like a dove
Loving like the morning's warm breeze
With a heart bigger than the deepest depths

You saw me for who I am
A sinner, unrighteous and dirty man
An ungrate and forgetful person
But in all your good grace
You see me as a son Your son that you put just below the angels
and above the creatures of this world
You loved me since I was thought of
My imperfect being, forever loved by a perfect being

I repent Lord,
of all my sins
of not knowing and listening
to the one voce that matters
The praise of man is but false lip service
But the praise and joy of my Father in heaven
is greater than all the earth's glory
Its worth a thousand days in your courts!

Priase my wonderful God!
The Lord,my God is good!
Forever I will thank you and sing your praises!
For you have heard me from afar,
and answered all my cries
For you alone are God eternal
Faithful and true
My God is great!

2010-01-01T17:53:00.002+08:00

Blessed New Year! Out with the old and in with the new, a wonderful freshness! Its time to learn that nothing else matters but pleasing God.

SHINE 2010! Do things the hard way! Chiong ar!

2009-12-21T23:10:00.003+08:00

How can a couple after close to 20 years of marriage just give up and move on so quickly? Move on maybe in actions but not in heart. Yet it is the action that speaks and is evident to the other party? I just dont understand how...

If your heart is saying one thing, why do another that contradicts it? Even if it eases the pain for the moment, or covers up the hurt pride and ego, it doesnt hack away the root of the issue. Yes, emotions are tricky and often deserve measures opposite of what it desires, yet for two so grown up, shouldnt the emotions have been handled better?

Now the consequence of all your actions have caught up. I know you miss and still care for her, was it so hard to swallow your pride and see beyond the lost cause? And I know you still desire a stable family, and with far-hidden emotions in your heart for him and the family, was it so difficult to turn back and come back?

In my unseeing eyes I see darkness and pain. Yet what can a bystander do but watch in tears as 2 hearts tear themselves tender and raw? God, please help them, and save their torturing souls... End their never-ending pursuit of alternatives. True happiness isn't so simply illustrated with that lousy utility curve of "more is better".

And God, please give me the eyes of faith to see beyond the impossible and the heart to stand.

Time and time again
You showed us you're faithful, faithful to me
How can I deny? Your love in my life.
For you are good...

2009-12-19T00:45:00.004+08:00

Went to play L4D2 for the first time today, I must say it isn't that fun compared to L4D1. Yes there are newer weapons,stranger monsters, but the fun just isn't there. Maybe after playing L4D1, the concept just isn't new. Thats what happens in most things I guess. Excited over something new,tired of it the next day... The only exceptions to this for me so far are my dogs and God. Haha.

Anyways, I have to say I love Baptism services! Tho the opp. cost of that was a outing to Safra with my family, it was worth it. Lives saved and changed, touching other lives in the process, thats the business our God is in. A business that hasn't changed one bit since the beginning of the fall of Man. Now in about 6 days time, the 2000-over-years anniversary of a milestone event that was the greatest triumph of God's business is gonna come to pass! Christmas just rawks!

Looking forward to Christmans Stomp, miracles are gonna happen in that hall on 24th Dec man...

http://www.fcbc.org.sg/service_new s.asp

2009-12-17T00:16:00.002+08:00

A new song arising in my heart... Strange yet familiar song, something old yet refreshing. Something only Christ can bring.

I only pray this will sustain and not fade out. Lord give your people the strength to continue serving you... Its only through serving and moving on that I will not sink faithlessly.

2009-12-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

I finally got my internet working!

*In a desperate move, he unplugs the lan cable from the computer on the first floor, drags it up to the 2nd floor and plugs it into his own computer. Then he tries to arrange the lan cable so it doesnt look so conspicuous dangling from the 2nd floor*

Well anyway, its the 6th day of my soft drink fast, and its so so tough! Soft drinks are everywhere! Just ytd I ordered a meal from KFC and forgot to change the drink to sth non-soft drink. Wasted drink... ZZzzzZ... God give me the strength to carry on pleaaaaaase......

2009-12-07T01:06:00.002+08:00

Now I know why ppl say dnt plan ur own 21st bd party, its so tiring! Or is it just cos the party wasn't mine? The irony..haha. A "bang" end to this phase of living here. Can't get used to that.

Oh yes,Happy 21st jOa!

2009-12-01T22:33:00.002+08:00

I remember a shadow of a debate in my mind this morning. The topic,"6 hrs lec, to go,or not to go". The proposition presented their arguement based on "its a easy topic anyway" and " there's always make up lec next week". But to the cut the long story short, the opposition won. Thus set in motion the agonising movement of dragging myself out of bed and to get ready for school.

Sadly, it isnt the first time such a scene has played out and, just like it is in Singapore, it isn't always that the opposition wins.

God I badly need that spirit of excellence in my studies! Feel like Im slacking these 2 months. Started strongly but the finish is well...woefully inadequate judging by the rate things are going. Come end Dec, the gears need to be stepped up a notch. God help me!!

2009-11-05T22:56:00.002+08:00

"It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High,
to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night"

His love is new everyday,thats why we proclaim it. Its not the same love that was yesterday, but a brand new one. Whatever bad things we did or thought yesterday, is in the past. Nothing more than that. Thank God for his love.

And tomorrow,is a new day. And the day after,another. And still his love goes on, til beyond time. Thank God.

2009-08-18T13:51:00.003+08:00

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity"

God make my heart right, so that I can be used for your glory. Overwhelm my inadequacies and fears with your perfect love and will. While I walk on by in a world full of temptations, Holy Spirit connect with me. Protect and guard my heart, enrich my mind, in the knowledge that the enemy has been defeated, and Christ has the victory!

Thank God for the triumph!

2009-08-13T14:00:00.005+08:00

Above all Power, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

"Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified, Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
AND THOUGHT OF ME
ABOVE ALL"

-Above All, Hillsongs

I know it hasn't exactly been a smooth ride down the river journey of faith. The first 2 years were deceptively calm, a torrent of despair and "dis-repair" under. Tucked away in the corners of my heart, I didn't allow God's healing touch to come and do his magic. And now, the Devil has cruelly exploited my weaknesses within. My soul now sings, "Here comes the Pain". Yet The Lord my God, Eternal Father in heaven who cares, The One who fell and rose, Magnificent planner of my everyday.... He sings a different tune, "So you would come"

No matter the circumstances, you are still God, and there's no black hole to deep that your love won't pull me back. No matter the fiery agony, or the cold loneliness, or the aching guilt, I'm turning back to you. No more running away, no more purposeless struggles. I'm running to you with a purpose.

So what if I had made a mistakes? Everybody does. I now see that my mistakes in the past were there for a reason, God allowed me to hit a wall so that I would change direction. Unhealthy relationships, unsuppressed anger and temper, unrelenting self-pity. My old weaknesses led me to Jesus, and my other weaknesses are being called into the light even now. Thank God for trials and tribulations!

Yet thank God also for the many encouragements around, if only I choose to see. Truly what do I see? The backbone of a spiritual family there to provide a safe environment to be vulunerable.... The support and understanding of a cell leader...... The closer relationship with my own father..... and one other thing that brought joy, seeing somebody's blog,somebody who I thought will never go back to Jesus after denying Jesus; now spreading His love with testimonies and verses. Thank God for His unending love!

Thank you spiritual family, even those of you not in the picture.

2009-08-04T20:37:00.000+08:00

Echoes of anguish ringing in my heart...

2009-07-03T21:20:00.002+08:00

TGIF!! So looking forward to the weekends. God's been gracious to me this week in work. But my human weaknesses still longs for the relative comfort of weekends.

Gonna be an interesting month.. What with introductions to a new school, the beginning of an induction to a new phase of life(I cant wait to start studying again!), and still going to work, and my birthday! July 2009 is here.. and so quickly.

Anyway, got a song in my heart since ytd, so blessed by it. Powerful song.

The Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

..........................sang by somebody who lost her baby just before doing the recording of this song

2009-06-28T22:32:00.001+08:00

Why am I blogging?

I also don't know. I think Im just bored,and Mingli complain my blog not updated. So yeah. And I think I just moved into a process of throwing away some part of my emo-being! Yay!

2009-04-08T23:54:00.003+08:00

PART ONE

"You must be crazy" she says.

"No I'm not." he replies quietly.

"Then why do it? Nobody with half the brains of a pea would've did that!"

"Well if peas had a semblance of a brain,they wouldnt stay one. They would MOVE ON,they would not want to muddle around all greenhorned,small,and clueless.

Its time I move on too,unstick myself from the whirlpool of emotional confusion and soar over it on eagle's wings."

Muttering softly,she complains,"Your ang-moh,I don't understand. Always liddat... Your decision,also macam Trigonometry in Literature , no link. "

Sighing,X walks towards the field of grass as the rustles of fallen leaves accompany his slow shuffling feet. Easing down onto a patch of green,he leans back to look up into the twinkling night sky,the same sky where they used to gaze upon in temporary contentment. A time when everything else seemed so far away,so unreal.......

Soft hissing sounds and a plonk sound to his right indicated Chloe joining him on his grassy refuge,drawing him back to reality.

Crossing her arms and feet, Chloe wonders, "Ever wondered where those stars came from? So small......yet so much bigger than me... We can't always see them yet there they are,sorta hanging...shining."

"Ummmm......."

"Or how they twinkle? Not like those satellites,you can always tell them apart,all artificial and no twinkle? Its the numerous,uncountable bright dots in a dark sky winking down at us that makes it just so drawing."

"Yeah......."

"Its too bad we're always so busy to see them,despite their appearance everynight. You know we're really too busy for our own good. Always rushing here and hustling there,all the good things just zip past us without our notice! Its really nuts come to think of it...." Chloe bumbles on.

"Chloe......." X starts.

"how we people rumble on all important and mighty,with things to do,inventories to take,deadlines ot meet. Just like ants! Only with a capability to appreciate beauty but no capacity to. Its just....."

"Chloe please......"

nuts! Just like your decision? I mean,just because of work you're giving up? C'mon! You're better than that!" Where's the......"

"I really like not to talk about that now,please. Just....stop talking for awhile." X interrupts firmly.

To which Chloe complains, "Whoa! no need to go all Mr Grumpy on me."

X exhales and closes his eyes as his head continue to throb with the many voices in his head yelling,pleading and crying out to him. Silence surrounds the two of them as they sat on the grassy expanse under a blanket of twinkling stars. The calm waters of the lake just beyond the border of the field of green rippled as a soft,cool breeze picked up across and caressed their exposed arms.

To Be Continued....

2009-03-01T22:08:00.003+08:00

Another Sunday goes by,2009 goes hurtling along like a clockwork train and before u know it,its March 2009! Oh Happy 21st YW!

Anyway Lord's Supper today took on a whole new meaning with the sermon message on it today. Gotta admit it the significance of LS didnt really sink into my mind before, and after 2 years of being there I wonder how many LS I partook mindlessly and mechanically. God forgive me...

But He is good! Having a great time now. Yes worries aplenty with temp job concerns, or a lack of it... and my still now "uni-less" status. So much time to go about daily routine slowly, no rush. Doing things I hardly have the time for so long. Like watching TV with my dad, watching TV and talking to my pri6-and-still-slacking brother. Walking/Running Max and Passion,though I always get the impression they're walking me instead. And Kang Kang(my cat usually joins us for those walks/runs) Its amazing how my dogs and cats live tgt,all those perception of dog chase cat, cat scratches dog. Phat... Wait til I upload my videos and pictures as proof that Cats and Dogs are peaceful animals,more peaceful than we humans will ever be.

Watched a movie with some of the dog-loving spiritual family too. Been some time since I last had that opportunity. "Marley and me" is a good show, or maybe im biased. But yeah,spoiler ahead. The ending... Expected but still pinches and twists my heart. Family sobs their goodbyes, Marley lies on operating table, vet injects chemical to put Marley to sleep, Family cries some more, Family buries Marley....... There certainly were a lot of tears accompanying that family too. =(

Its a good reminder though,nothing is eternal here. Still we hold on so tightly to so many temp stuff,or go on searching soulessly for temp. stuff. I shudder to think what will happen when I finally lose Max. God forbid I lose myself in the things of the world....

2009-02-26T00:34:00.003+08:00

"She's here! Hide!" says the weighing machine

On fighting the Germans in WWII, Churchill said "Give us the tools and we will finish the job!" Well I say, "give me the fun and I will fight the flab!"

I think I've put on a couple more kilos, gone are the 6 plateau that used to be apparent on my abdomen. A slight hill now stands in their places.

And its not as if I don't have time for exercise. Its just that its not fun exercising alone. Ok that's probably an excuse... So yes! Here's a new resolution for me: Swim/run at least 3 times a week starting now!

2009-02-22T22:10:00.007+08:00

Inspired by Martin King Luther Jr
(link http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm)

I Have A Dream...

That one day, in spite of individualistic tendencies and the delicate complexities of rallying individuals, the people of the united tribes of EJA will overcome the unfavourable odds, and at the annointed moment, decide to have a noon-time meal together.

In keeping with the teachings of a certain teacher to "not give up on meeting up", to fellowship, to enjoy each other's company, to learn from the brother or sister whom one sees every week and think nothing more of it, to just hang out without the distraction of an official agenda..... I have a dream, that these people will make effort to spend at least 1/84 of their standard 168 hours/week to meet up in non-regulation time.

Let us not wallow in the defeat of excuses, I say to you today my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties in the form of "meeting friends" and "got project", I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in A 2:42.

I have a dream that one day these people will rise up and make good the saying,"devoted to the fellowship." That one day beyond the yellow doors of expo, the sons of taxi drivers, the daughters of engineers will be able to freely chill out on their own accord,

A dream that sees many individuals, one body, moving off in unison towards Expo Mrt to their destination of fellowship.

A dream that one day, in the looseness of our lips, the words "you don't joke la!","mai xian" or something to that effect, will appear less and less. And out of that void comes a fountain of encouragement and truth to hearten the people.

And that will be the day, when all of God's people will let ring the words, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last from hiding behind busy-ness and the poison of our tongues!

2009-02-17T21:28:00.002+08:00

Its only been 6 days since my ORD. But it feels as if I've nothing to do for more than a month. Goes to show how much work I've really been doing in January. Haha...

Just got my C905 last night,courtesy of my dad. Thanks Dad!!! More than 2 years since I last had a camera phone. And more than 10 years since I last appreciated my dad for what he's done and who he's been to me and this family. Though in recent times our financial strength hasn't been sure,he's never failed to ask, "Got enough to spend or not?" POSB or UOB cant replace dad as the ATM. =X Know its been a tough few years,but through it all our family still stands! Thank God for that...

RETRENCMENT

2009-02-10T21:46:00.004+08:00

The economic downturn has taken its toll on many companies and entities,both private and government. And it seems the SAF is no different.

As of 10/02/09,1700HRS,3SG Jaren was sensationally sacked by the SAF. The naval medic who joined the SAF 2 years ago was expected to extend and even at some point,thought to have considered signing on. Being interested about the military from young due to influence from a career-army father,it was assumed that he might follow in his father's footsteps.

However,as many before have found out,the Singapore Acting Force is not the organisation many outsiders think it is. Those super cool flicks on tv, with the macho-looking actors who think nobody will recognise them just because they smear black stripes over their green masks and wear a cool-looking devices(it allegedly turns people stupid), over their heads, are nothing but an elaborate show designed to "wow" the general public with their acting skills.

On this dismisal of employee Mr Jaren, the SAF had this to say,"His services will be missed....unfortunately.....". While the retrenched could only respond with an enthusiastic "ORD LOH!" It remains to be seen how many else will be retrenched together with Mr Jaren, yet in this bad times, Retrenchment remains a viable option for the SAF to maintain their allocated 11billion of the National Budget.

-wire services Freeman

Grief in Australia

2009-02-08T21:37:00.004+08:00

We really must start praying for Australia... Floods and fire,with more than 85 people dead,700 homes burnt,a few towns razed to the ground,people dying in their homes,burnt alive as they tried to escape in their cars,people watching on helpless as their loved ones burn alive,fathers losing their wives and children,families escaping with nothing on them but their clothes on,with even no time to let their dogs run out of the house to escape ravaging flames... A total of3000 sq kilometres burnt,roughly the size of Hong Kong mulitplied by 3..... 3000 homes affected by floods,2 people lost during a failed attempt to ford a swelling river,a 5 year old boy taken by a crocodile while walking his dog...

We're really so blessed to be here in Singapore. I taught it was hot here,but its worse there,47.5. "Hell in all its fury" down under indeed....

2009-02-08T20:24:00.002+08:00

10 weeks worth of SOL1 plus another 10 weeks of SOL2?!?! Gonna be so tired on Sundays... Quite sad to miss out on the post-service fellowship. Ended up playing "boring Left4Dead" with daryl and bobby,even daryl who initiated the gaming said it was boring. And Bobby so spoil market,chiong and own... Zzzzz..... Haha

Oh yes,Man U will win tonight!

2009-02-07T23:28:00.004+08:00

Its another beautiful creation of a day! Had my first tuition of the year(praying for more) and CG meet. Great time to fellowship in a smaller grp,been some time since we had that. Daryl and I were talking,and we said sth about shopping. Now at 21 we still ask each other out to shop for stuff like shoes,games etc... 10 years down the road,will we be asking each other out to shop at 'Courts' or 'Ikea' for furniture and washing machines etc. Hmmm...

Anyway,sat in for one of their Vday planning today. Sounds reeeally interesting. Come 14th sat,not only will I be a free man,I will be a free man attending their reeeeally cool and interesting event at Bukit Merah! Come celebrate Vday in a special way...

Well,nothing much to add. Another day passes by,tomorrow will be another beautiful day. Truly the Grace of God.

2009-02-06T09:58:00.004+08:00

The power of the sword versus the power of the pen,which is stronger?

I was reading an article on the Daschle fisaco and something other than the usual "typical D.C political mess" stood out. Apparently, Daschle resigned on the morning after reading "the New York Times editorial calling on him to withdraw."

"The editorial described Daschle's ability to move "cozily between government and industry" as a cloud over any role he might play in changing the nation's medical insurance system."

A controversial event through and through,yet this administration still scores points on my card not just because of the sympathy generated by an emotional Daschle talking about how reading that editorial affected his personal choice to withdraw,but also because both President Obama and Daschle acknowledge the sin but not condemn the sinner. A different message that other administrations might have sent out........"Burn the sinner who evaded tax and cut his links with us so that our reputation will be protected"

Instead,it was the head of the administration that said, "I’ve got to own up to my mistake. Ultimately, it's important for this administration to send a message that there aren't two sets of rules — you know, one for prominent people and one for ordinary folks who have to pay their taxes,"

So yeah well...... GO OBAMA! This coming from a former Bush supporter =S

Anyway, Valentine's day is coming(after my ORD HAHAHAHAHA). And there's an event to celebrate that day. Its free,and invites are not exclusive. Who doesn't want a free thing these days?

2009-02-05T22:29:00.004+08:00

I AM REALLY EXCITED NOW!!

Secured a POA tuition assignment,a temp flyer job,an interview for some Sales job(God help me talk more man).

Just hope that I don't get too excited about the blessings from God and forget about the blesser....

2009-02-05T12:39:00.003+08:00

I'm coming to one of my last posts while Im an NSF. Feeling it more and more now,though Daryl said I won't feel it cos I stay out anyway. Haha...2 more working days! Oh yes,somebody else in the CG becoming medic too wor.. Glad for him.

Its gonna be exciting come ORD,with tuition,new part-time jobs,becoming more active in the CG,upgrading my skills and lifestyle! This year will be a victorious year!! Looking forward!

2008-10-24T16:01:00.002+08:00

Finally back in sunny-yet-sometimes-rainy Singapore! Where the water is green and the air smells not that fresh,home sweet home indeed!

After staying in a 64m by 9m metal cage for 2 weeks,it feels good to be back. Ironically,the water outside that rocky,bouncy cage was either a nice blue,or crystal clear. While the air was either salt-filled,or sweet and fresh.

Tioman is a beautiful place,beautiful and boring that is.Thank God for the company,else I really dunno what to do with my shore leave there. The ship crew really hokkien soldier,only difference from regular hokkien soldier is that they're mostly married and with kids. So.... mature and responsible hokkien sailors that despite their incessant smoking and alcohol guzzling style, sorta grow on u after a while. I'll miss them.

To be honest I really had nth much to do there. Other than the odd case of S/T,flu and headache,my routine was "wakey wakey,lunch,nap,dinner,attempt to read before night snack,sleep". When we played host to foreign sailors,I'll be part of the welcome party that spends the whole afternoon with them watching DVDs( I never watched so many DVDs in my life before), talking and realizing how much more fun other navies are. S'pore navy really very safe,but boring. Go Tioman but no water sports,can't even jump into the water around the ship to swim. But see other ships do that. No complains though.... And all yeah,the Australian Navy really very well-paid sia!!

Needless to say,after 2 weeks of being cooped up onboard with only 2 days of shore leave,i gotta find activities to expend my stored up energy. Ran errands,packed a bit just now. Maybe I shld go for a swim later. Ummm...... But in any case,looking forward to spending this 4 days holiday!

2008-09-23T19:22:00.003+08:00

In addition to the ABBA DVD my dad found for me ytd,now i own an ABBA CD too!! WOOHOO!!! Going ABBA crazy... Next time go kbox must sing all their songs lol. Think the next time I'll go is after that 2 weeks sailing trip.

Discovered sth recently too. Negativity comes so easily to me(i.e. sian at work,upsets in relationships) but positivity is like fishing with a 30cm blunted spear. Yet people still fish with spears!! Its a matter of effort then... An effort to force my mind on positive things. So ironic,telling the brain what to think,when a brain is the center piece of all conscious and unconscious thinking.

Tested it out this morning. A blue tuesday morning when I have to drag myself out of bed to go to work when Im not in the mood. So easy to think of all the negative things,so I purposely think of all the blessings I have in my life. A good foundation in education,my homely home in the first house I lived in,the many good memories there,a functional family,finding Jesus,a good posting and my 5 more months to ORD!

Well it worked,kinda. The blues turned to light blue,den become rainbow as the day went on. The power of a decided mind!!

2008-09-22T23:20:00.003+08:00

Been feeling a bit down recently. And frankly(not being emo hor!) its not getting better. But after a week or so,that heavy feeling appearing somewhere in my chest just becomes..........there.

Enough of that though,lingering on negativity just propagates more of the same thing. -Ve+-Ve not equals +Ve. Watched Mamamia today.

It was FANTASTIC!! Loved the high spirits in there,never imagined 3 grown man and 3 old women and make dancing and singing seem like so much fun. Haha. Hilarious...

Now I see why my mum liked abba a lot last time. Went home search for abba cd,couldnt find one. But dug out an Abba dvd. Cool!! Next time got time Im going watch.

Now I cant wait for the next opportunity to watch mamamia the musical. I love musicals!

Oh yeah,i wanna specially thank mingli and boong for reading my blog which is inactive most of the time. And yes!! 4/10! Looking forward to that.

2008-09-17T20:54:00.007+08:00

I really seem to have so much time on hand nowadays. Came back from base normal time,walked my babies,stone at home,admire the scenery OUTSIDE my house and watched tv. The simple things that I just don't usually do.

On Off tmr(my last one),hopefully the guys' plans for kbox really goes on ahead. Else I take Off for nothing. In future if I want a day off I gotta apply annual leave le. No more free privileges. Stupid SAF policy,induce me to hurriedly spend all my off cos it can be taken away from me at any time. But I take comfort in the 12 more days of leave I have left. *grins* Pondering if I should go overseas next month or not.

Next week its gonna be a long week,no off,one weekday duty and only one day sailing. I seriously wish the time will just pass faster...... Unproductive mentality. Urgh!

Conclusion? Too little time...No good! Too much time...Also no good!

2008-09-17T20:54:00.003+08:00

The Mutt In My Life.

And one of the reasons why I love coming home to a cramp,dark and messy house where there's little ventilation and natural lighting. Other than the wet slops he gives me while jumping with much enthusiasm in his welcomes,he's like the most loyal thing ever la! Everytime welcome me home like its the first time in a year,and not sick of it.

By the way,Im not being emo here, but its funny how things change when you lose something. After coming to grips with that reality,everything else that one still has becomes brighter in color,more significant in meaning. Or maybe its just cos there're more time to observe things in different perspectives. Hmmm...

Conclusion? Change is not all that bad!

2008-09-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

It is done! *grins*

2008-08-08T00:15:00.002+08:00

Before anybody questions my definition of "soon",I better come out and say yes! I still have NOT changed my blogskin cos a)im too busy b)im too lazy.

Maybe after I ORD then change...Hahahaha...

Oh yeah,heard the a ORD joke/dig. Maybe I should tell it to Daryl and let him try it out on JC and Frans. Ummm...

2008-07-21T17:07:00.001+08:00

There goes the "1" in front of my age.

So Daryl and gang,when are we going to celebrate all of our collective overdue birthday celebrations?

And I seriously gotta change my blogskin soon.

XCheersX

2008-06-30T12:01:00.002+08:00

Its official! Monday is now my offical and recognised "nuah" day. Its my first off day on a Monday and I am loving it! Means Sunday I can stay out later,and still afford to rest almost the whole day at home. Consequently,this newfound 'joy' might be a bane if I don't find anything productive to do. Too much rest just doesn't work.

But its a good day to dig out all my old stuff from the many unpacked boxes,and find many things of the past that evokes so many memories. One thing I found that really catches my attention are all the cds and songs...brings back so many different memories. I don't even have a name for some of the memories. One song that stood out was the toilet bowl song by Andy Lau. Whahahahaaa....! Imagine a potato like me used to listen to Andy Lau songs,favourite singer last time. Influenced by my dad and now inspired to search for Andy Lau's old and still enduring songs. Only problem is,being a potato,I dunno their titles,words and meaning. Only thing I can understand is the melody... Oh yeah,except the toilet bowl song. Its lyrics are hilarious! HAHA Next time I go kbox Im gonna find that song and dedicate it to " My dear toilet bowl......" U've suffered much and remained loyal in silence,taking all the shit that came along with the job. Being a toilet bowl is totally one of those saikang that goes so unappreciated.

Ah well,Im not gonna spend too much time infront of the computer. The day's too precious!

2008-06-20T20:31:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna move house!! Not yet anyway... Too much of a hassle moving,packing and throwing away stuff. Im kinda sentimental,so got a lot of things i can't bear to chuck away. Ah well,been kinda busy lately,too many ndp related stuff. When comes to medical,SAF suddenly very picky. Must be the 2 deaths....

Quick updates this week:
-bought a cam for 199,cheap cheap.
-Saturdays still getting burnt
-came back from sailing and feeling very nuah
-I haven't been in 'office' for the whole week cos of other stuff
-I'm feeling a bit emo and missing the times when everything seemed simplier haha

I like quick updates like these. So next time i read my own blog,i'll go "Oh yeah,that week was interesting." Quirky feeling...

Anyway,I can't wait for August..... Then my posts will be longer.

2008-06-12T16:44:00.003+08:00

10 more sizzling hot saturdays to burn before 9th August. Still i rather it dont rain on any of those days,cos will expect more trauma injuries due to slippery surfaces,as opposed to the usual heat exhaustion on hot days.

Had component training today. Supposed to utilise some of the ambulances,but traditional military cock up: there were no ambulances available today. So basically my team just went there super early in the morning to watch other teams set up and have a free kfc lunch before going back around 1300. Gonna be very sick of kfc soon....

Anyways,it was rather interesting today. To have 8 guys in our camo uniform walking ba long long around esplanade,fullerton hotel and raffles place. In fact,we were actually just walking from floating platform to another site to do a recce. But it was funny to see the weird stares we drew as a group. My words probably won't do justice to the hilarious moments. I rmb as we were walking along the merlion,a group of tourists numbering approx 25 peeps called out to us.

This long hair,dark skinned Indian lady called,"Photo!" while pointing to her camera. Next moment,her fellow clicker-happy friends were shouting over the distance for us to take pictures with them. My team was very amused,but naturally we didn't agree. It was kinda malu actually. Here we are walking past them in the open and there they are gawking and calling to us like we're some peculiar zoo animals. Despite our objection to taking photos with them,some of them still clicked away merrily on their cameras. So malu........ Lucky none of us were holding our macdonalds' in our hands,else caught on camera. Haha.

Guess its very strange to see a bunch of army guys walking around in town. That wasn't the only incident when we were walking. The tourists will be very interested,wanna take photo and ask very excitedly,"Singapore army?!". While the Singaporeans will give weird stares,snigger that NS nowadays so xin lang before hurriedly looking away.

2008-05-19T22:13:00.002+08:00

Got this from a book Im reading,"The Last Jihad". Its pretty interesting,about the situation in the M-E,and the war on terrorism. Some of the events in this fictional story actually parallel a lot of reality. Arafat dead,suicidal planes on the US homeland and the invasion of Iraq.

But this particular paragraph drew my attention the most.

"In a way,God and the afterlife where kind of like gravity,weren't they? It didn't matter if he believed in gravity or not. Gravity was a fact,a simple physical law,a force of nature. A person could stand on top of the Empire State Building shouting,"I don't believe in gravity. I can't see it. I can't taste it. I can't touch it. It doesn't exist." And then jump. But what then? Would his lack of belief in gravity cushion his fall? Of course not. He'd smash on the pavement and die.

Gravity couldn't be seen. But that didn't mean it wasn't true. The truth about gravity could be discovered. And wasn't it smart to discover gravity before it was too late? Maybe the same was true about God. Maybe it was smarter to find Him before jumping blindly into eternity like a fool without a parachute."

Simple logic,but the truth escapes so many people,even me at times. And they say people are getting smarter nowadays......

2008-05-12T19:22:00.003+08:00

EMERGENCY NEWSFLASH! PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS TO THE NATION

"Yesterday, May 11th,2008, a date that will live in infamy,the United Jars of Cookies, was suddenly and deliberately attacked by viral and unknown forces of the Empire of Diarrhea.

The United Jars of Cookies was at peace with the Empire of Diarrhea,and at the solicitation of the Empire of Diarrhea, was in conversation with its government looking toward the maintenance of peace in the abdomen region.(after just recovering from diarrhea a week before)

Indeed after one hour of Diarrhea virus commenced bombing of Pearl Harbour(toilet bowl),til the wee mornings of May 12th,2008,the defending forces of the United Jars of Cookies was forced to conduct shuttle runs to safeguard the intergity of its sovereignity,between its base(bedroom) and the main Area of Operations(toilet bowl).

The attack on Pearl Harbour has caused severe damage to Cookie forces. I regret to tell you,that many white blood cells and fluids were lost.

As commander in chief of the white blood cells and fluids, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.

Hostilities and illness exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our Jar full of Cookies,and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our defensive systems,and the SAF Medical Corps, with the unbounding limit of power of the Cross,we will gain the inevitable triumph,so help us God.

I ask that the Senate of the Jars declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Diarrhea on Sunday, May 11th 2008, a state of war has existed between the United Jars of Cookies and the Empire of Diarrhea."

2008-05-05T14:06:00.002+08:00

Once again,its been some time since i visited my own blog. So i really apologise about not replying the tags promptly. But thanks for the concern about my currently-still-not-back-to-normal-thumb. Been trying to get the SAF to send me for a free X-ray,but schedule this few months has been so tight that I didnt get a chance to scan my thumb yet.

Many events coming up. Just finished RSN Day,so after a week of giving medical cover to rehearsals,its finally over,and we're all rewarded with half a day's off. Too bad the rest of the Navy that weren't involved with the parade ALSO got half a day's off... Ummm... At least its one parade down,2 more to go. De-comm parade and the biggie,NDP.

Tribe events are also on the rise. Parents Appreciation Dinner,Muar retreat,Sports Fiesta... I wanna be there at all of them! but glancing thru my sad-looking calender,I just feel more upset. God please cancel NDP!!!! Haha..

Ah well,sour first,sweet later(this's what i get for getting Mingli to do my chinese hwk in the past,now chinese still very bad.....I'll b.itch about u all i want!!! Whahahahaaaa...)

I can't wait for August to be over!

2008-04-20T11:41:00.003+08:00

Its small,its short,its stubby,it might even be fat,but do you know the importance of a thumb? Can't hold things properly,can't perform many mundance,seemingly insignificant everyday routines without it,as I found out yesterday when I dislocated my thumb.

Played soccer yesterday,and came off worse in a challenge for the ball. The ball flew away from my goalpost,and my thumb flounted its normal rules on acceptable range of motion when it pointed perpendicular to its usual position.For some detailed information,it was actually my first metacarpal bone that dislocated from the carpus. Anyway, I didn't felt any pain,but couldn't move it at all. Feeling very garung,I grabbed that offending thumb and pulled it back to its normal position. After a very satisfying "crack!",my thumb slipped back into position,and that was when the pain began...

I suspect the swelling's due to blood vessels broken,and the pain's cos of the nerves being infringed by objects that have no right to be there. The restriction of full movement of the thumb is probably due to the swelling,so in other words,it should be back to normal in a few day's time....I hope.. But as my instructor in medic course would say, "U doctor or medic?" No PhD so better go see doctor. Haha.

Well,guess this happened cos God loves me enough to stop me from being obssessed with playing my new psp. Without my left thumb,which i use to push the directional buttons of the psp,i can practically play no games on the psp. There goes my obssession. A painful lesson from God......I'm just throwing guesses,but its likely a lesson that prevents greater pain.

Oh yeah,i still think that while Bush won't be remembered as a great president,he sure will be thought of as one of the funniest and most interesting ever to sit in that great chair.

2008-04-17T21:07:00.001+08:00

OMG this funny!

And this even funnier but kinda lame. Haha

2008-04-16T19:15:00.003+08:00

Kenna tuah today....

Went to work this morning pretty excited about the sailing trip. Greenhorn's first virgin trip onboard a naval vessel. So went the time came to go onboard,we loaded up our stores and went onboard. Upon reaching the deck,we had to sign in on a nominal roll. And horrors! my name wasn't on the list. Turns out,the coxswain and my in-charge miscommunicated and resulted in a poor soul;moi,doing all the saikang to prep for this trip,but end up getting kicked off the ship.

But guess who's doing the laughing now? Im at home,chilled out and online while the rest of them are somewhere at sea(I hope they get seasick,muahahahahaaa).

2008-04-14T19:10:00.002+08:00

A few people have been asking me why i bought a psp. And a few people have been saying 'its about time' as well.. And I've come to realize that the first group of people are usually the "haven't enlist or will not enlist" kinda people. Whereas the other group are my fellow brothers-in-arms. Haha..goes to show how much the Sony has gained from tapping into the [market of 18-22 Singaporean males].

As for myself,i cant wait to put mine into action when im just rotting in my small medical cabin onboard the ship this wednesday. Binge on gaming and mp3. Lol. Nah... probably look for interesting things to see,but what can one do on 150meter ship? Not much...

2008-04-12T11:33:00.000+08:00

What do u do when you're down,out and broken? Join the USMC!

2008-04-08T21:33:00.003+08:00

Reported for work today at my new 2nd home,Changi Naval Base. Thought it will be very nearby to my house,so i test water,take cab there. And wadya know.... Due to heavy traffic congestion at loyang and changi,the cab fare was 22 dollars!!! When I shared cab out to tanah merah from camp to go home,i paid a mere 2.50. From now on,i dont dare take cab to work anymore le......

2008-04-07T22:36:00.002+08:00

*to the tune of whatever* 8 to 5! 8 to 5!!!! Lalalalalalalaaaa...... More time,more nights at home,more fun,more freedom,more money spent too!! Lalalalaaaa..... 8 to 5! 8 to 5! All the way,I like it here! 8 to 5 i found myself too free.... Lalalalalaa...

8 to 5... a lifestyle coming soon,brought to you by the Republic of Singapore Navy. Check local postings for more details.

2008-04-07T15:27:00.002+08:00

New blogskin after period of inactivity. The new blogskin makes no sense,since I don't really like green now and I just can't wait to finish NS liability. But Im in a 'make-no-sense' kinda mood today. I need a new direction!!

2008-02-19T18:11:00.004+08:00

I love music.... Songs that just rip through all the world's reality and touches the soul. Beautiful.....

Guess thats why Christian music is so important in ministries. Combine music that touches the soul, with Christ, the source and savior of all souls,and u get POWER. Power that literally penetrates all the exteriors and moves people.

Those christian bands out there are really doing a service to humanity. Keep rolling them songs out man!

2008-02-18T18:41:00.002+08:00

I know in this period of fasting and prayer,Im not supposed to be watching youtube,but it so happened I rmb this video i saw months ago on youtube. Not sure why the memory of it came back,but I felt very strongly about viewing it again. Took me awhile to find it on youtube,but here it is. Put it here in my blog so I can view it again easier and thought it really speaks a lot to see God working in the U.S military. I hope one day,that we'll see something like that in the SAF...

2008-02-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

Im on sick leave.....again. Something's really wrong,I can feel it. I know I fall sick easily,but the recovery rate quite fast de. Not this time. 2 weeks in a row sick le... And after CNY,sick again. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ME!!

And the timing sux to be honest. Im nearing the completion of my level II phase in my medic course,but I keep having to take MCs to recover at home,so miss a lot of things. Can't even study for the tests properly,concentration level very low. Now I type until here also very tired le,headache... Jialat... and another bad thing,this post really sounds like Im eating worms. Dangerous...

I recognise that,but I think I need help on how to stop that.

New Year's Eve

2007-12-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to everybody for reaching the end of 2007!!! 31/12/2007,few more hours to the break of the new year.

A time to celebrate, a time to reflect and a time to plan ahead with anticipation. It really is more than the countless countdown parties that will be rumbling all around the island later today. Yet I wonder how many people will actually just watch this day go past in all the merry-making without pausing to ponder on 2007. Sounds very emo,but then your life only passes once and the things in 2007 are unique. Worthwhile to 'record' them down in my harddrive in my opinion.

Don't think Im gonna post much on my reflections, cos its gonna take like forever and carry me into 2008,then Im gonna miss the countdown for the sake of reflecting alone. Which isnt very balanced too. Haha..

But these are events im thankful for:

-drawing closer to both physical and spiritual family. Tough times truly forge a closer bond between people.
-Baptism. I'll never forget the significance in my belonging on God.
-100k challenge. Opened my eyes to see a little what challenges in the spiritual realm may be like.
-100km walk. First event I ever helped planned in a church environment. So different from secular events!

Of course,events are easy to say. But what counts are the lessons and experiences that can never fade away. Hopefully these won't be forgotten so easily as my own journey into 2008 reveals more roads and pits. I think 2008 will be a year of adjustments for me,just get that strong feeling. Thats why my anticipation for a new year now is like never before. Already, events are happening that point to changes ahead:

-The year of Sabbath,suddenly got different focus. Not so action-packed.
-Changes in my own cell. This my first taste of such transitions. Wonder how is it gonna be like.
-Changes in my medic course. Goodbye to one of the instructors that made it a fantastic course to be in. I know we'll all miss him.

These are but the start. Many more to come. Its like the Titanic saw the iceberg ahead,will it be able to dodge the many icebergs ahead in time? haha. kinda no link... Ah well... Til next time, I dunno when I'll update again cos the long holidays are over. My next leave will be for Chinese New Year. So goodnight blog. And goodnight 2007.

2007-12-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

Yes i know,its been some time since the last update. And i will update more when I have more time!!! Its been hectic recently to say the least. Planning for the 100km walk this month,studying for my medic course,rehearsals for countdown party.....and it has come down to this.

The 100km has finally started!!

Walked only like 30 plus km,and not continuing the night one cos of fatigue and illness. Not a good time to be tired and sick,Im gonna need the energy for the countdown party and my IPPT test this coming thursday. Not to mention the other theory and practical tests *groans*

Blisters,insect bites,ankle strains,muscle aches. Thats all i have got to show for after 3 days of physical activities. Guard duty also meant sleep is a commodity in rare supply those 3 days. And honestly, the route march just killed me. I really don't see a point in making all 28 of us carry stretchers in our field packs. How many out of 28 people will actually get injured to such an extent that they need to be stretchered out?

But still, looking back at this past week and not to mention the ever fantastic festival called Christmas, I must say its been a pretty fresh lifestyle. No more mundane waking up in the morning,and just looking forward to night time when can sleep again. Haha... 2008 is coming,and honestly, i cant wait for the interesting things and new challenges it will bring. God give me a fresher and fresher lifestyle!

2007-12-10T21:36:00.000+08:00

Its been 2 weeks into my new posting to Medic school,and I feel like I've been studying bio for more than that man.. Daily cramping in bio lessons into our heads with whole day lectures and 19 textbooks for a 15 week course. Thats like more than a typical week in JC!

Fortunately,i quite like this course,nt only do we get to get real useful medical qualifications after the course,the info is real handy in any normal medical cases,small yet frequent incidents like scrapes,bruises,cuts after a fall... Asthma attacks... Digestory-related matters... Just a few days back somebody cut his finger,and i couldnt help describing how the brain tells the body to transfer more blood to the cut area in the initial stages before sending the platelets to clot up the area before the WBC come in to start healing the wound. Never thought that somebody who's nvr had any interest/backgrd in bio can be like that. It was seemingly a different person talking when I compared myself then,and a week ago. Medic school.... Sth I nvr wanted to get into,yet strangely fresh. Only bad parts are the injections. Haha..

Anyway,the end of the year is coming. Yr 2007-Yr of victory. 2008-Yr of sabbath. Yr of victory,i still can understand that. Pushing on in confidence in the knowledge that the victory has already been won. But yr of sabbath's a lil different. There's more than simple rest to it. Productive rest. 2 words;and thats wat im catching from people who know more abt the church's plans for next year,yet somehow I feel there's more than what Im catching thus far. THe feeling is just different. Last yr,the cell sat down and discussed our plans,strategies on going abt the yr of victory,so there was some sort of framework. True,man's plans dont always work,but its good to plan,at the very least the planning itself is a form of pre-determination which in turn leads to higher efforts on our part. Anyway this year,its kinda different,no sit-down discussion yet,not really VERY clear on what next year will be like.

So yeah.... 1 month to end of the dec. A month to find out more abt nxt year so can be better prepared,and a month to climb to higher victories! Planning to end this year with a bang with by serving in CDP. God help me... Haha.

Ps Ong ended his yr victoriously too,by getting married. And we reaped his victory by having the opportunity to plaster our images all over various cameras. Twas kinda weird experience for me,since I dont really like taking pictures. But cannot be spoilsport,so took a few fun shots with the rest of the gang....

I wonder who's idea was this pose,but it suited me since i dont have to smile *Grrrr*

Another pose that suits me,no need smile.

Finally,one that left me no choice but to smile. Haha

2007-12-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Still getting my blog up to date after change of blogskin. Any links that I might not have slotted in please feel free to point that out,not exactly spending a lot of time on the change so possibility of missing a few things here and there are pretty probable.

Went for steamboat at marina south today. Cant say I had the best of times, too tired, lethargic, distracted and worst of all, I got a little sick after the whole thing. Diarrhea medicine here I come. Just goes to show how vulnerable our own bodies can be. We prey on seafood like crab,prawn.. poultry and cattle... But end up getting all oozy and weezy when their germs transmit to us. Ironic....

Ah well... Had a great time at cell ytd. Soccer and sharing on how cell shld rightfully be family like,not "MLM-like". Im reminded on how important that is.. And its kinda cool,cos I feel like God's showing me how important physical family is at roughly the same period as that timely reminder. The link? Still dunno yet,but Im working on that,pretty certain there's a purpose in all these...

2007-11-30T13:28:00.001+08:00

Finally done with revamping my old blogskin. All black with little teeny white words didnt go well for my tendency to let rip with the words. Upon scanning through my previous blogskin,I realize an extreme lack of pictures and photos and a overwhelming magnitude of tiny words that seemed to swim across the screen after I stared too much at it.

Hopefully this new skin will ease that problem,but I don't expect much since my blog's semi-sleeping til 2009. Til then... I'll make do =D

2007-11-04T23:04:00.000+08:00

Something struck me today. No I didnt get hurt,and no,that thing wasn't exactly very light. In fact,it was quite heavy. Impact quite big,and no I did not get hurt. What struck me was this: My Dad and my youngest brother are flying off to China for 2 weeks to meet my stepmother's family.

Yeah,its not like I did not know of that a few weeks before, but its only now that I come to realise what this means. Its a new beginning for my dad and our family. Things are finally moving on. And out of all the hurt and despair,lessons were learnt,hearts are being healed,issues that were so violently thrust out from the depths into painfully,glaring light,are being resolved.

I never knew how distant I was from my own family until I happened to talk to a friend. I said,"my family's flying off to China for 2 weeks man." And the reply," Wha...means freedom la."

In the past I would have jumped for joy and agreed at that statement. Freedom from constant nagging and all the other restrictions that come from parental supervision. But today,when I heard that,there was something like a jolt inside that made me realise how much Im gonna miss my family when they are away. And also how much I miss having a family that communicates freely and just has that "family" feeling.

The recent months saw me saying frequently," I never knew what a real family feels like" I regret that now. Cos if I never did know what one feels like,I wouldnt be longing for my family to get back to what it once was.

Through it all, one lesson was put very clear to me. There's a reason for all thats happening and that have. Out of trials, God leaves trails of wisdom that only are apparent with the benefit of hindsight. And its with hindsight now that I truly appreciate what family is,and how much I have not treasured one;my own earthly family bestowed to me by heaven.

I sure hope its not too late to change that.

2007-10-29T00:42:00.000+08:00

I was just blog hopping when I stumbled upon my auntie's blog,and its so cool! I mean not just the fact that she owns a blog(how many working adults with a family to run actually blog), but the stuff she keeps in there. Pictures and all... Teddy is so cute anyway!!!

But I love this the most,memories of a cruise trip captured in the best way possible,photos!!

Check them out...
http://www.slide.com/r/4OF6vytztD_P3RBg5wwmd_UzCH11R3XX?view=large

Gosh I miss the pre-army days,not just the freedom and my hair,but the innocence(relatively at least) and carefree ways...if u catch what I mean. Haha.

By the way,I have no idea what happened to my tag board. Simply disappeared after I left my blog for dead before last week. Ummm.... Dont have the time to solve the problem either,so I guess the blogger-comment feature have to stand-in for now....

2007-10-23T11:41:00.001+08:00

My blog is still alive!! Well not exactly,but at least comparative to those faint pulse u'll hear on 'barely hanging in there' kind of alive... Still on the same schedule,get home saturday,too tired to get online until Sunday when im out practically the whole day. So still having trouble posting anything. As such,with the extreme lack of writing I do in camp,I find myself with certain difficulty just allowing the blogging here to flow. A) Lack of inspiration on the kind of content B) Lack of fluency in my languague... I may just be posting for the sake of posting .......

I don't know,or it could just be me finding some outlet here to relase my pent up boredom. Whatever work that needs to be done today has already been completed,so what else can one do in the office? Im starting to wish very much so that I could have gone overseas with the rest of the people here,at least I wont be stuck here doing nothing much....

Be careful what we wish for indeed. Just last week I couldnt wait for them go overseas since their prep meant I have to be very busy prepping their departure as well. Ironic as it feels,its barely 3 days and Im half dreaming of Delta coy being back to its usual,hustle and bustle self. There's a big difference btw rest and slack.... And its one of these things that leads me to realise just how deep that difference runs.

Still, there're things Im looking forward to. Number one,getting out of there.(if there were at least more people here to talk to then it wouldnt be as bad.............Gosh I hardly hear myself complain that much,and thats saying something)

Number two,bringing Max for that grooming session,he looks like some polar bear that stuck his head into red dye,his face is like so 'oxidized apple' now. Buay tahan...... Side track for awhile,my dog just injured his leg,that easily excitable boy ran too fast, so he actually looks like a polar bear on crunches.

Number three,X'mas in within sight finally! My fav festive season of the year... Number four,New Year's Eve! 2nd fav festive,looks like all my fav festives are at year end.

Number five,still harboring some hope of making it to youth camp.

Number six,helping out with the 100klick challenge and trying it out.

Number seven,that last TPSS alumni in the old school compound. (I just heard that I left a pair of my old NCC uniform there and the teacher-in-charge was attempting to get me to take it back.... Imagine that,my uniform just hanging there untouched and collecting dust in front of people going in and out of that room,weird)

Number eight,new posting out of Delta Coy,bittersweet feeling when it comes i anticipate..

Well I cant think of anymore at the moment. This post has been rather spur of the moment like. THere wasnt any real purpose of getting on blogger. Just a very immense itch to let my fingers fly over the keyboard.And cookies in the jar was fast becoming rotten and expired cookies in the jar if there werent any new updates.

2007-09-22T15:14:00.000+08:00

Science vs God

For all those out there with an appetite for a little intellectual exercise....and all those who don't mind armies of words swimming before your eyes.

"Let me explain the problem science has with religion." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment.

"Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er...yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Again, the student has no answer.

"Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom.The class is mesmerized.

"Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet.

he student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees."

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly youhave nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word."

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester.

"So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought."

"It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it."

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided."To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues."Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

This students statements are true, can you or can you not make night darker?Is it possible for it to get colder after absolute zero -458 degree's F. Can you feel,taste,see,hear,or smell your brain?....

Ummm....

2007-08-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

Woots!! Im in camp now,its 11pm in the night and im sitting in the exclusive company messroom(its only in use when there're special events or we have so much free time from a lack of training;meaning very rare la!). Look what a 3 day MC can get u. Haha.

Missed fieldcamp,been stoning in coyline for the past few 2 days,waking up like 12 pm cos there's nothing to do,no schedule to keep to and no instructors to make us. Haha. If only army life was like that, one whole week of waking up,relaxing,doing things in a not hurrying manner,reading,going to the canteen nonstop and playing psp. Whahahahaaa! Im kinda sorry the weekends are here,cos that wil mean the last of this kinda life ever. =X

Can u imagine so much free time in an action-packed course that i can finish a new book,read so many chapters of the bible,sleep so long,and still struggle to fill up the rest of my time! Hmmm..i guess that despite this easy life,i wont be able to get used to it. Nuah too long....i cannot take it. Just not sth i can do... only 2 days so far..... If not for the rest that i appreciate so much,just lock me up in solitary confinement,its as good as nuahing so long.

Oh well...update more next time,this post is my maiden post using a computer in coyline and the very last one too.

Oh yeah,i cant wait for this Sunday! WOOHOOOO!!!

2007-08-15T11:30:00.000+08:00

IN CHRIST ALONE-Stuart Townend, Keith Getty

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love,
what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled,
when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone!
who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
-For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine
-Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

2007-08-09T14:41:00.000+08:00

Whoa! its been that long huh. I struggle to remember when I actually found that time to post up a friend test. Considering I see my army-mates everyday of the week,my time at home hardly gives me leeway to get into the blogsphere. In fact, very lucky to be at home this National Day Holiday already! Nearly kenna guard duty...Whahahaa...

Im looking forward to next week,cos its the last field camp which signals the end of BSLC approaching!! But then I heard rumours most of us here are probably advancing to ASLC,so a bit of a kill joy. More so when most of the ASLC people that batch are gonna be working to their kakhi beret. *Gulp* Guards spec?? Never thought of that.

Anyways, i try not to think about the army when im out whenever i can. Those darn field camp preparations are already stressing me out. Recently Im very happy with my family situation. Not that its better than in the past, but its improving la... There was one Sunday we actually sat down for lunch at delifrance,my youngest bro,dad,mum and I. Family feeling again man!!! Deja vu.... But it kinda felt weird sitting there that way yet knowing things weren't the same anymore. Still...I wont forget that Sunday. My mum was pretty appreciative of the 100k blessings too. Too bad I didnt make enough time to offer my dad prayer blessings too.

Well...not much time to stay on here. So til next time(I really hope it wont be that long)...

How well do you know Jaren?

2007-06-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-06-03T09:14:00.000+08:00

I love this song!!! Anybody knows how to put it into my blog???

Joyful, Joyful - Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit

- performed by The St. Francis Choir featuring Lauryn Hill, Ryan Toby, Devin Kamin and Ron Johnson
- produced and arranged by Mervyn Warren
- based on Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th Symphony

[Lauryn Hill]
Joyful, Joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
God of glory
Lord of love
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee
Hail Thee as the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Giver of immortal gladness
Fill us with the light
Fill us with the light
Oh, fill us with the light of day......

[Choir]
Joyful, Joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
God of glory
Lord of love
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee
Hail Thee as the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin, sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Drive it away
Giver of immortal gladness
Fill us
Fill us with the light of day
Light of day!

[Rap]
(Check the rhyme)
Joyful, Joyful
Lord we adore Thee
An' in my life
I put none before Thee
Cuz since I was a youngster
I came to know
That you was the only way to go
[switch rapper]
So I had to grow an' come to an understandin'
That I'm down with the King so now I'm demandin'
That you tell me who you down with, see
Cuz all I know is that I'm down with G-O-D
You down with G-O-D?
(Yeah, you know me)
You down with G-O-D?
(Yeah, you know me)
You down with G-O-D?
(Yeah, you know me)
Who's down with G-O-D?
(Everybody)

[4 girls]
Come and join the chorus
The mighty, mighty chorus
Which the morning stars begun
The Father of love is reigning over us

[Lauryn Hill] By the way

[Choir]
What have you done for Him lately?
Ooh, ooh, ooh yeah
What have you done for Him lately?

He watches over everything
So we sing

Joyful, Joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
God of glory
Lord of love
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee
Hail Thee as the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin, sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Drive it away
Giver of immortal gladness ([Lauryn Hill] won't you)
Fill us ([Ryan Toby] Fill us with the light of day, Lord, fill us)
Fill us ([Ryan Toby] oh we need You, yes we do, fill us)
Fill us ([Ryan Toby] yeah..., oh, oh yeah)
Fill us ([3 guys] with the light of day, Lord)
....
([Lauryn Hill] We need you, come right away,
we need you, need you today, we need you,
I'm here to say fill us, fill us, fill us, fill us...)

Fill us with the light of day ([Lauryn Hill] oh, yeah)
Light of day!

2007-06-03T08:53:00.000+08:00

I just realised.... There're A LOT of other people out there who haven't managed to find a uni. Uni-less like me!!! "You'll never walk alone....Liverpool....Liverpool"

But then I dont wanna end up like Liverpool leh: 1) Not in the top 2. 2) Only competetent player in there is Stevie.G. 3) Nothing much to show for in terms of silverware other than that Champions League anomaly.

So WHEN i get my uni,I'm gonna plan smart and execute it. Not like old Rafael. B. I mean Bellamy and Pennant? Good yet inconsistent and nowhere near stellar. Where's the plan smart in that? A single Eto' or Torres will have served Pool better.Whahhahaaaa.... Go Man Utd Go!!

Ok back to the planning smart.... No more slacking off classes,tutorials,research. Its times like this when people start to appreciate what hitting the book means. No worries of being school-less, route marches and IPPTs. Its cool to look on the bright side when things are not going right. But its even cooler to walk on the bright side.

Hmmmm...maybe its time I start thinking about getting that SAT and BTT. Why waste 2 years not using my brain eh?

2007-06-02T09:23:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to worry about my health. Not long after the diaharrea thing,comes the fever and it still hasn't gone away.. Not that Im worried about the severity of it,its just that how am I supposed to complete the 24klick and IPPT with POP by 13th in mind,with all the Status that's gonna come about?

Ah well.. I really shouldnt worry too much. Afterall,it wasn't that long ago that I heard the message about God fulfilling his purpose for me. In fact,it was only yesterday.

Went for cell group yesterday. Oh by the way,it was a first for many things yesterday. First time in cell group in 7 weeks, first time in esplanade in more than 7 weeks, first time walking down citylink in more than 7 weeks, first time having subway for dinner, first time bowling in half a year. To say that I enjoyed yesterday's an understatement! Pretty cool to be hanging out with my cell group again....

Jasper shared the word yesterday. It was about a promise made to all men that they had a destiny to fulfill. A destiny already chosen by a higher being, and since its a destiny and a promise at the same time, it WILL be fulfilled. So that implies whatever hicups along the way, things' gonna be fine at the end. Well... I wouldnt have been so convicted in what was shared if I haven't been going on life in the past few days with the 'Always look on the bright side of life' mindset. Cos if things are gonna be fine at the end, all the more reason there shouldn't be any reason to worry and more reason to stay bright eh?

Back to more light-hearted stuff. 'Marco' is really good at bowling!! For a boy his age to be trumping most of the cell with his score and style...thats gotta count for something eh. JC wasn't too bad too. Just needed a game's worth of warm up. My own game was pretty rusty. Been a long time... Still,it was fun! Too bad I dont have any pictures to put up... Watching Lion order his subway was an eye-opener too. I can only put it down to lack of experience from eating at subway. He managed to choose his sub,type of bread,stuffings and sauce after an unusually long time and generous prompting and recommendations by the friendly staff of Subway. It was HILARIOUS!!

All in all...Its the first time in a long time since I enjoyed myself with the cell. Hard to imagine I was actually struggling to go cell group cos I wanted to stay at home and recover.....

Always look on the bright side of life

2007-06-01T09:43:00.000+08:00

1) Loooong holiday away from P.Tekong and whats the first thing i do? Fall ill with fever =X So much for going out to enjoy.

The bright side? At least i didnt have fever when i was still in camp. Imagine the sucky feeling of feeling feverish in a not so comfortable environment.

2) Missed the opportunity to play soccer with my friends. Been a long time since i last touch a soccer ball and hang out with them.

The bright side? Unlike them,i wont have body aches and feel sleepy from playing soccer at 7 plus in the morning at Bishan. Not to mention the amount of time i get to spend at home.

3) My mum doesnt stay with my family anymore.

The bright side? I treasure the times she visits us a lot more now. More than words can describe......

4) Spiritual father out of town when im in town.

The bright side? Opportune time to meet up with spiritual brothers instead.

5) Having to retake IPPT and 16km route march cos of Status.

The bright side? More experienced in what a 16km march feels like,having close buddies to retake them with me. And leaving me less tired on Monday when i do not have to take the Monday IPPT and instead,have more energy for the drill competition qualifiers!

6) Rejection letter from NUS (Only applied for NUS this year =S)

The bright side? Learning to take academic issues more seriously. Not gonna take it for granted now.

7) Being in the platoon that undergoes the tougher training in the company. The high number of sick people speaks a lot about the training.

The bright side? We're definitely more prepared for post BMT life than the other platoons.

8) Extremely limited spaces of command school and hence low chance of getting into OCS.

The bright side? Perhaps God has another plan for me. OCS afterall, was always a dream for my ownself from the start.

For all the bad things that happens, there're a lot more silver linings that I miss out. Hopefully my eyes will be opened to more of those silver linings.

My GOLDEN lining.....take away the 'L','E' and 'N'.

3 more weeks!To POP...

2007-05-26T17:37:00.000+08:00

Biscuit monster stole my cookie and we are so happy....
We are from Falcon 1,Falcon Company....

Every hour standby bed and we are so happy....
We are from Falcon 1,Falcon Company....

First to fall in,last to breakfast and we are so happy
We are from Falcon 1,Falcon Company....

Saturday book out,early book in we are so happy
We are from Falcon 1,Falcon Company....

Brought to u by the men of Falcon Company,Platoon 1. Ever cheerful, ever ready PDP(Permanent Duty Platoon).

Thankful for this band of brothers for they showed me the meaning of hitting the ground whenever the going gets tough and just keep going with a smile.

This just keeps ringing in my head
"Always look on the bright side of life"
Fitting song for Platoon 1. For all the over enthusiasm in 'disciplining' this platoon and the curiously tougher commanders we have, morale's still high. Just look at the lyrics we composed. haha.

Anyways,my application to get into NUS failed. So im officially university-less! Wonder what happens next. Disappointed. But oh well, PDP has taught me to move on with a smile! Maybe I'll join the airforce or get accepted into some other course next year. For now...."Pick up the pace and move along......"

2007-05-19T13:46:00.000+08:00

Its been more than a month!! Since I last posted. UmMm... not too bad,i didnt actually expected to come back to the blogsphere for at least 2 months. So forgive the lousy writing,and i know its gonna take me ages to complete this post. Do remember its like only the 2nd time for me touching a keyboard like this in over 1 month.

5 weeks of BMT has passed. Small statement to make but larger than imaginable memories,lessons and bonds to take away from that. Doubt i'll ever be able to fully explain what this period of BMT has done for me. 4 more weeks and my 'holiday' in the army will be over. Shucks... Used to want to go to OCS for the pride and glory first, platform it provides second and childhood dream third. But experiencing first hand the kind of results it produces in people just turns me off a lot. Rationally im not sure any if its the right choice I'll wanna take to go OCS. Some of the officers they turn out are truly shocking. Lol.

My buddy got posted out yesterday. It was a rather sad experience. Its not like we talk a lot and half the time i dont see him cos he's OOT for like 2.5 weeks. But somehow he's my buddy! And now the bed beside mine is gone. Sad sia. He wasn't the only OOT posted out yesterday. 3 people i think. 2 from my platoon and 1 from the other. Imagine the number of sad people yesterday evening. Haha. My section had a fun time tekan-ing him for the last time when he came over to say goodbye.

Also,my application to become a pilot got turned down. After a computer test and medical check up. there goes that wild dream. Haha. But at least i still have a shot at joining the airforce. WSO C3. Sounds real fun. But then that will mean going OCS. So..... Its come to a point that wherever they post me,i'll just go. No more ambitions for command school or plans to chao keng anymore. Thy shall go wherever thy place me. Woohoo!!!

Anyways,i came to realise BMT is really chicken feet. Expected a lot from it,but once into it... Its a joke man!! After asking myself why,wondering if it was my uniformed group background,or my family background that were the causes. I come to a conclusion that it cant really be. Dont ask me how i know,cos i cant explain. But its God. I just know it is. All those long route marches that gave my mind ample time to wonder,i feel God speaking to me. Sometimes He chides me,sometimes He encourages me. Still,there's always that sense in what and how He says things that make me realise how true it is. I remember that 12km route march,no sweat for the first 8-10km when i was lost in my world with God. It was only the last 2km when i started thinking about other stuff like how i hate blisters and combat rations, and how funny my buddy in front of my looks with his cabbage helmet AND ridiculous 'turtle shell' FBO AND rifle swinging crazily all over his body AND his shag out body language AND STILL SINGING WESTLIFE SONGS!Many things to distract me,but still i felt the torture on my shoulders. Contradictory,the first 10km-NO KICK! Almighty God indeed,thinking about Him's enough to pull me through.

Too bad i didnt realise that only after 4 weeks. I struggled a little the first 4 weeks;homesick. But by the 5th week,things are looking good. POP's in another 4 weeks time. There's light in the army after all! Alright,end of this wordy post. And I was right! It did took me rather longer than usual to get this post out of my constipated blogging stomach.

P.S. To all u Chelsea supporters out there: WE'RE GONNA DO THE DOUBLE AT YOUR EXPENSE TONIGHT!

NewBreak

2007-04-10T22:22:00.001+08:00

Latest breaking news!!

As of 2029 hours on GMT +8, 10/04/2007, the Jar Confederation has officially renounced support for hair-intensive, fund-draining products such as hair gel, hair shampoo, hair wax, hair spray and combs, in protest of the massive pay hike for the Leets and rejection of allowance raise for the Loots.

With the money saved on hair-products, the Jar Confederation hopes to raise enough funds to campaign for more aid packets for lower-income Loots and unfortunate Loots that do not earn as much as the Leets and are in a weaker position to protest at the "Leet-supported/created policies".

However,certain sections of the public have criticsed the Jar Confederation for renouncing hair. These criticisms come mainly from the "Mao-Mao Action Party". Experts feel such a move by the Jar Confederation will cause it to lose political support as the "Mao-Mao Action Party" has long voted for the Jar Confederation on the basis of its long standing stance known as the Many Hair Policy. However, there were other signs of discontentment from other parties dissatisfied with the amount of capital put into reversing its support for hair-products.

Most contentious is the removal of the root of the issue; the Jar Confederation's Central Bank of Hair, traditional located on the topmost feature of the entire Jar Confederation-The Head. Many feel that the funds put to elimate the root of the issue has been wasted on a private organisation a.k.a 'Barber' when a civil service organisation a.k.a National Service could have done it at a much cheaper and efficient manner.

However, Jar Jar Binks, Prime Minister of Jar Confederation retorted when interviewed in his private estate 'The Brain', "People can say all they want. But the issue at heart is not how they see us, its the quality of the people's life. Look at the Confederation's history, location, geography and its people. Do you think the transformation we've achieved in the past 19 years can have been achieved by a government that's weak and goes by others' standards?"

NewBreak

2007-04-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

Countdown

2007-04-08T11:27:00.002+08:00

96.5 MORE HOURS!

3 things to do before botak...

2007-04-02T11:46:00.000+08:00

I'm back! Haven't been posting here because I'm finally starting up on my wish to write short stories. So i started a blog just for that! A series of short stories that are all connected, no planning, just impromptu inspiration and typing. Check them out at http://maxpassionhappy.blogspot.com!

Won't be able to complete it though, I've only got like 11 days to enlistment. Looks like I can't go overseas or catch Phantom of the Opera too. =( So writing's my last aim before saying bye bye =D

Musical!

2007-03-24T01:08:00.000+08:00

"Can you feel...the music of the nigggggghhhhht.........................."

The music of Andrew Lloyd Webber! Just about the only classical "artist" I listen to. My mum loved that musical and it rubbed of me. Recently TV also aired that show,and I have the VCD...

And now...........

ITS IN SINGAPORE!!! Gosh...Want so much to watch it. Wanted to when i first heard it was gonna be here last year. But only recently then feel even more like it. Powers of advertisement... Haha. And powers of reality that brought me crashing back to earth: Tickets are probably so expensive that I need to work a whole month to pay for it. And they're probably already sold out. Looks like I'm gonna settle for the VCD afterall...

Ummm..wonder if my mum had wanted to and failed to get tickets too..............

God's Love

2007-03-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Please send this to every one you know. If you delete that is okay, God's love is not based on emails .

Post G12 conference

2007-03-19T16:14:00.000+08:00

3 days(+ 1 day of service) of conference. Before it began I thought the length of it will definitely tire me out,but on the contary,I feel refreshed! Admittedly,i probably didnt understand like 90% of the content shared during the conference. Other than the 1st message on a victorious year and the message on love,i caught no ball. Haha. Yet, i felt it was really enriching cos of Pastor Cesar's faith. He believes so much in the unlogical that it becomes very contagious. So contagious that it flies 50m from the stage to my seat and I feel strangely confident in his God,Abraham's God,my God.

Can i believe that 100000 people will come to know the Lord in just one month's time? Maybe in the technicality of it,no. But 100000 seeds to be sown in 100000 people? Without a doubt!! I may not register in the 5000 people cos I'll be in the army,but that doesnt mean I cant do my part. Let there be 5001 and people doing that man... and like Ps Cesar said :SPECFIC PRAYER. So this year,there WILL be 100000 seeds. And I WILL find 12 people by Dec 31st 2007. And most importantly,the seed that was sown in my own physical father will grow. And an open door to my rather elusive mum will be opened. All by end of this year.

End of year still seems far,but now's a good time to start. Already,there's movement in my family,extended family. The seed's gonna be sowed in one of my cousins tonight. Cant wait for it... Its gonna happen,and its gonna happen in a way that i never expect it. And cos of that, the excitement's just so high.

Still,i dont deny its gonna be a challenge to sustain all these. Its one thing to be so high,another thing to be high from the source deep inside. The night straight after G12 conference,i experienced great joy and faith one moment,and hurt and heartache the next,i felt like there was no hope and that i should just give up. That attack spoilt the whole night. So i went to bed early,not to sleep,but to try find that peace and joy again. Thankfully it came back. Just goes to show how vulnerable the human mind can be. Gonna need all the help and effort to sustain,and thats gotta start NOW. All rather,start like 2 days ago =X

My new faith challange,sustain the faith!

I really thank God for family in the spiritual family.....

Update!

2007-03-13T13:04:00.000+08:00

Its been like what? 3.5 weeks since I last posted. Haha! So many things have happened,where do I begin? Baptism? My pathetic 88-dollar hongbao collection for this year?(88-nice number and its better than nothing at least) Daryl's salvation? The many many activities with my cell bros? The lost of internet access with both my computers getting viruses? Going on shopping sprees(sadly things bought weren't for me)?

So many things! And it has come to this. 2 more weeks in Schindler,4 more weeks to enlistment. Gulp! The frustrations of trying to find a job 2 months ago still seem very fresh in my mind. And whatever happened to my 6 pacs?! Hehe. Lack of exercise and an office lifestyle... Believe me,it cant be good for an enlistee-to-be.

At the start of this year one of my new year resolutions was to write my fictional novel on the web,whether by blog or that website I set up 4 years ago. Too bad I lost my password and Id on freewebs,so that leaves blogger. Haha. Might sound as a surprise,but I love writing! used to write stories when I was in primary school. The stories were a bit lame and very simple,but hey! It was a start. After secondary school things started going haywire so i put aside that hobby of mine. Wonder how many of my friends actually know that about me. =D Anyway I managed to start coming up with a plot and theme. Even finished my first scene. Completed planning it on my A level math practise book,and of course when CNY came,in the madness of spring cleaning,I dumped that book,and along with it my rather extensive planning =(

Now i cant really rmb what was in that first scene. I only rmb sth about an aircraft arriving in some dusty airstrip in the mystery of the night,with a few colourful individuals being brought together to "volunteer" for some mission. Very military.... Haha! Maybe its God's timing,he wants me to complete NS before writing such a novel. God helping me to write a better novel. Lol.

Well,its like 4 weeks left. So i guess i need to find that motivation to jump start my own exercise regime. Dont wanna be a zero fighter inside BMT man.

*Ok Im going to be a little chim now*(I miss being chim on my blog)

Still,saying is like some colourful and bright vapour in the air,they float up for all to see,and then disappear without leaving much of an impact.

Its also more than doing,doing can only last so long and basically implies something being completed,a temporary impact. Yet learning something and actually finding it meaningful is an entirely different thing. Its like that bright and colourful vapour mixing with the atmosphere to let off a scent. True something is created,a scent is created, but how long can the vapour last?

The most important part is being. Being doesnt necessarily means being seen by others,or actually managing to complete something,but it does mean the attitude inside is one that tries its best. Now there's some meaning in that!

So....start placing your bets! Which will Jaren do in the end-say,do or be fit? =S

"Time and tide waits for no man to get his fitness back!" - Jar

Bored...

2007-02-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai! CNY is finally here. Day 2 of it,Day 4 of my holiday. So much time,so much rest,yet why do i still feel so bored? Dont have that CNY atmosphere in my heart. Urgh... Maybe its cos Im still sick after so long, and my eye bags...wow man! Injured my arm somehow ytd also. The aches spreading rather weirdly from the neck to the forearm. After CNY if it continues,im gg use my angbao money to see doctor. =S

Its been rather quiet this CNY,i remember last year my family visited non stop from morning til night on the first day. Chiong to so many places. This year was needless to say,very different. Morning service,afternoon only 2 places before gg home. And only visited my dad's side,while my mum's overseas so no point gg over her side. But my dad's side good enough for now i guess,so many ppl to catch up with. Haha.

Today not so lucky,only went Kaima's pl for like 2 hours or so. Ate my lunch-dinner. It was 4 in the afternoon ma... Played awhile,ate. Haha. My arm's like killing me now,typing very slowly now. Haha... And my flu! Prayer list quite long this year ar. Haha. Last year also almost same thing,pre-CNY flu and CNY-induced cough and sorethroat. After so long of denial,i admit that my body very prone to falling ill. Not those major illness but those little ones that are like mosquito swarms,irritating and constant. URGH!

Hopefully tmr's a better day. But even if it aint,im not gg let it spoil my impression of CNY and get me too down.

CNY's coming!

2007-02-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

Just a week away to Chinese New Year! Time of hongbaos and mandarin oranges,plenty to tidbits,sweets,drinks and sore throats... Maybe it hasnt hit me yet,but I still dont feel very excited about it. Dont have that CNY atmosphere. The only sign of it in my house is the amazing disappearance acts of plenty of junk,junk that was collecting dusk for the past year. Untouched,ignored,neglected,invisible then. But touched,zero-ed in on,thrown away,visible but disposed of now. Amazing how festivals spur lazy people into action. Sometimes people just need a little motivation that pushes their right buttons to do stuff. Motivations,not principles. If my family and I were really spurred on by principles dictating a clean and tidy house,those year old dust probably wouldnt have survived past the first month. But as it is,principles get shaken by external circumstances and other sorts of motivations have to be brought in to move us. Yikes! That doesnt sound very morally strong. Oh well...

In the next 3 days im embarking on a reunion dinner marathon! Yu sheng(and hopefully red wine) here i come! Always liked reunion dinners with yu sheng cos they inevitably bring everybody around the table,the whole family. Warm family feeling.. Ahhhh.... even if it lasts for 2 minutes. After that another kind of family feeling. AREA CLEANING!!

Anyway,holding 3 seperate dinners for 2 families. Urgh.. This's the first year im having separate reunion dinners with my mum and dad. A bit weird and uncomfortable with that. But its ok,got the spiritual family to make up for that. Haha. Putting in more effort into that steamboat reunion dinner thingy maybe cos its the first time im doing anything like that(Special shout out to Jess for teaching me to de-skin and slice my first chicken/pork/fish!) and partly to revive that "warm family feeling" that I know is going to be missing somehow in the other 2 dinners. Only thing thats going to be consistent with all 3 dinners is the cleaning up part =X Gulp... Haha.

Well,til next time.. Hopefully I get my camera up and running soon. HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

2007-01-26T12:09:00.000+08:00

End of the week! Or at least the official 5-day week.. A respite at last from office life. =S Well,actually i didnt go work today, not exactly feeling very well. Lack of sleep,wrong food and bad decisions on my part. Hmmm..but still,im not exactly feeling very bad for the opportunity cost of staying at home. Sure,i lose a day's pay. But my main objectives for entering working life now was never for the money. Opportunity cost of having the time to catch up with God,some friends and family while resting: 9 hours of pay and back aches. I'll say its a good bargain by any standard.

Recently I've this friend who sms-es me a lot about going online. That pretty much seems to be the only topic we talk about. Which really gets me thinking,WHY?! Isnt there like a hundred million topics out there that are more interesting and meaningful to talk about... Yet.. Well,its the same in life. There're a hundred million more meaningful things to do then certain past-time some people enjoy doing. Gaming,gambling,working(not to say thats a bad thing),gossipping etc etc... So many favourite past times,so many better stuff to do.

Not to say that favourite past times are bad or unhealthy,but I sometimes wonder why is it we stick to it so much at the expense of doing other things. I mean imagine refusing to go out to catch up with friends just so that I can play DOTA for that few more hours. Even if im some world champ in DOTA and its THE BEST thing im good at,it just isnt worth it. Are feelings of attachment to one single thing so strong that they overwhelm every other thing? I fully support having favourite things to do,but if it ever gets to a point of so much sacrifice for one thing like that,and especially if its some not-that-meaningful-stuff,it isnt called a past-time any more,its called obesesion.

Hope I never fall into an illusion of mistaking a obesesion/stronghold for a favourite past-time/hobby.

P.S. I chanced upon this blog for a worship band that just started out. Called "PAID" and I think its pretty interesting. Or maybe its interesting cos I just found out my brother's part of it. So I linked it.

2007-01-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

Well..Im here at home using the computer instead of at work. WHY? Cos i fell even sicker this morning. Bah... Been sick for some time already,but it got worse recently. WHY? Cos i ate ice-cream,half-boiled eggs and toast and drank mango juice. All that on just 2 days. *Gulp* After like 1-2 weeks of trying to take care of my health,abstaining from fried food,cold drinks,heaty stuff etc. to recover,i spoil the recovery process in just 2 days. Now i lose a whole day's pay,have to fight of boredom at home,work OT even more tmr to cover and spend a whole day wondering WHY DID MAN UTD LOSE?!?!?!

Oh well..just goes to show how every little action counts. What seems as minor can actually have a larger than proportional consequence. Those punitive, inappropriate food i consumed to satisfy my temporary temptations gave me a lot more trouble than I expected. Baah! And if Rio Ferdinand has stepped back a little he would have cleared that cross that Henry headed in!!!! Note to self : Every little bit counts. Everything has its consequences.

Heartbreaking pictures...

Hopefully every little thing I do to recover has an effect thats equally magnifying. I want my normal voice back!! =D

2007-01-19T19:21:00.000+08:00

Weeeee....!!!!! Weekends are here! Hallelujah! =D Im beginning to understand why weekends are so precious. Haha..I found a job! Praise God for that,cos been searching half a month for one,and all it took for this one to come was one phone call. Yeah man! I like it...not that the pay is high,the work is fun or anything,but got KaiMa there to look after me and show me the ropes. So that beats many things already. Not to mention the experience there,ad hoc admin and learning the SAP system. SHOULD be useful next time...I hope.

Only thing i gotta sacrifice is my lifestyle..Boohoo!! Its been awhile since i last slept before 12 and wake up before 7. Heck,even when it was Prelims last year,i was already living a pig-style(lifestyle of a pig) And to sit in front of a desk getting order around by people isn't something i've done before. Always envisioned an outdoor job,or at least one that lets me move around.Action pack! But then... haha,not everything in life is the way I want it to be.Must be something else iM put in this job for.

Well...tmr might be gg to Escape Theme Park,or Wild Wild Wet. Gosh..im so not ready to do that. Still suffering from the fever and flu,and no more cash with me leh. Travelling to work everyday so expensive! One of the few benefits of a student: Student-fare!!!! =( But believing God for healing by tmr. Else I cant do what I need to do la.. And cash..Aiya,think about it tmr. Haha. For now,i just wanna enjoy my few hours of free time at home! Hmm.. some of it going to blogging and all the other stuff i need to do infront of a computer,so that leaves me with another 4/5hrs to eat,tv,rest,reflect,read. COooOooOoooL!!!!

Ok,blog more next time,maybe next week le. =X Oops. haha. And oh yeah,i want that camera cable to link to my computer! Else no photos here....

2007-01-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

First question for today: How many times can a mosquito bite in a few minutes?

Was just sitting in front of my com for what must have been only 10 min,and i got like 11 bites already! Half a day of sitting in the same spot and nothing happens,but when I open the window for just 10 min,I get interesting bumps and colours on my skin. Dang mosquito.

Weird thing was that I caught that mosquito. That ugly,fat and ungainly buzzing thing. caught it buzzing ard my foot,so i bent down and splat it onto the ground. SPLAT!!! Out came blood... my blood. Quite a lot for that small insect to contain. After that,i didnt get any more bites. WHich leads me to wonder. Was it really only one mosquito??? If it was,must be some pig species mosquito. Suck so much.. 11 takes in 10 min,greedy sia! But can a mosquito really bite so much in just a few minutes?

Second question for today: How much blood can a mosquito suck in a single take?

Considering the amount of blood i saw when i splat that darn thing,and the number of times it must have bit me. Every time it bit me,it must have only taken a few milli litres man. Might not even be a single milli litre in one take. Ha!! Puny thing! Bite so many times only do so little damage.

Well,that mosquito may have taken some blood and caused some itchness for me. But it sure led me to think about some things. The thing is: How many times can one person complete a task or activity in limited man hours? Everybody not God ma,cant be running here and there without breaking down. Physically its impossible. Ytd cell group talked about resting in the Lord. Well,since we're not God and cant do anything,if we rest in the lord maybe some answers to my question will be provided..... Just a thought.

Another thought: How much can one person do in every task or activity he does? Not a lot. Imagine trying to wash a dozen cars by urself. Tedious. But what if there were 10 of me? haha i make copiesof myself then can do loads!! Haha! Ok not realistic.. but what im trying to get at is teamwork. IFF there were a team of people united not just physically but in one mind,then things will really get going. Just like a squadron of that pig-species mosquito being better than just one pig-species mosquito. Suck out more blood from me. Haha! So yeah... Same aim,same thoughts equals teamwork which corresponds to more work done.

Thanks pig-species mosquito for reminding me of all that today !!

2007-01-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

Yawns.. Stayed at home the whole rainy day. Rainy-windy-cold day. What a way to rest at home! Well,thats the last of it for this month. No more stay-all-day-at-home kinda days. else I will never get restarted on doing what needs to be done. Momentum,come back to me!

Alrighty,random post,posting for the sake of posting seeing I have so much time. Til next time,watch out for a more meaningful one=D

2007-01-10T20:07:00.000+08:00

"Drawing Near"- My new fav book! Not just cos it accompanies me on those long and expensive bus/mrt journeys,but also cos it really helps me draw near. Haha,didn't use to be able to feel God's presence without the presence of music,but now even with all the hustle and bustle around me,i still can feel Him.. Thats really teaching me how "everywhere" He is. And the result of that? More confidence and conviction of the Lord.

I think thats becoming really important for me in this period,cos Im finding it tough to rise up to my challenge. How maintain my high I man? So tiring.. May have the want to do it,but the means to do it mustn't only come from me. Need help! I mean if i wanna do a half-half job of beating that challenge,i think i can pull it off.No problem. Only when got people around then talk,and when talk also talk for the sake of talking,not with any purpose in mind. Not exactly beating the whole challenge. =S Thats when the help I need come in. I need people to help me keep it up,need God's power to energise me. haha. Confidence and conviction in the Lord!

Anyway,that aside. Wasn't really keen to share all that but part of my challenge,I wanna ultimately be more expressive and open up,so might as well start by sharing through blog rather than talk. Today went for the job "interview". More like job 'psycho'. Went to this big SLM company,very big in the region. Very high potential,and high potential to earn big. Can earn 5 digit salary in just one year and forever. So much promise,so much comfort.

Yet i felt so awakward and uncomfortable there! Not cos of interacting with the people there,it was easy cos they couldnt wait to talk to me. But their values and goals are just somethings I cant accept. Their products and marketing strategies I can understand. But what motivates them i question... Somebody recently shared about being a Warrior Of Light,standing firm against wordly values. Well,if i decide to join this company,i foresee being covered by an avalanche of these wordly values. Today was also reading Drawing Near,and it stated something like being careful of feeding on wordly stuff like materialism else the appetite for a closer relationship to my Lord waning. Already,i see a friend who's into such a company,and boy is his motives seperated from mine. Certainly dont want that. The comfort,the money and the friends there I can forsake,but I cannot forsake the security I find in Christ.

OR

Cross or Cash?
I think I choose the Cross.

2007-01-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

TOday's Trybe "You Can Do It" program sure was an eye-opener. First time going for Trybe's flagship activity,and continued on my learning journey about different kinds of leadership and interacting. Not exactly two of my strong points. Well, I finally decided,with a significant amount of advice from a close friend that Im gonna pursue developing my communication and "soft" leadership skills. Haha,something for me to find meaning in this run-up period to NS! I dont think slacking off at this moment in time is going to do any joy for me once I enter the green community,so The TimE Has Come to step up a gear or two!

So here's my plan for the next 3-4 months. Volunteer at Trybe,find a job to support my excessive travelling expenses (one of few reasons I miss about being a student). Tmr's another day of potential learning at Henderson, hopefully Im grouped with the same facilitators as today, wanna analyse their different patterns in facilitating. Haha,sound so professional and robotic! =X Wed going for that interview,that unknown job interview with a mysterious manager of a friendster contact that offered me one at Clarke Quay. If I get abducted,everyone take note that I went to Clarke Quay to meet with the interviewer at 4 pm ok!! Haha.. No worries la,got that aura around me. Hehe.. Nah,just feel it'll be alright. Got a chance to rope in a few more friends who are job-hunting also. So yeah, worth a look-see-look-see.

Today I was chatting with a friend who I just got to know. She has a phobia. Which I think she wants to get rid of, but is just unsure of whether she can pull it of. Either that or she's other things that are priority over it. Hmmm... Well, I asked her if she will like to overcome it, and she said something like maybe when got time she will. That got me thinking back on the predetermination theory a few weeks back. If my friend really wants to overcome it, she shouldn't have said "maybe when got time", it should be something more sure at least. Like " Within the year, at least I will try". Goal setting...... Just like my household chores I need to do,if i keep thinking that i'll do them when Im more free,Im never gonna get them done. Need to specifically target completing them by a time,or start on it at a certain time, then i can do it. Tested it out today. And wow man! I completed more household chores in half a day then I did in 1 month! Haha! Goal setting works! =D

Tmr,gonna continue testing. I must wake up by 0600,wash up by 0605,bathe by 0611,pack up by 0621,get out by 0630. Haha,so clockwork-like. But just try la.. Hehe. Oh yeah,and I aim to get that mp3 before Feb! Else i'll just doze off while doing my jogging and while travelling around. =D

2007-01-06T15:57:00.000+08:00

THE END HAS COME! The end of camping season I mean. Kranji YLMP wasn't half bad. Ok it was good.. Had a great time there,not just having fun with the people there,but the friendships built and lessons learnt. Wow!

Special shout out to Dan,BaoHui,Angeline for helping me learn more about facilitating and interacting. Im not the kind to talk a lot,especially in groups,but i talk more in the camp than I have in 2 weeks. No wonder my throat isn't getting any better. Well,sometimes being shy about oneself isn't cos of the way people look at u,its about how U look at urself,thats something I came away with =D So now im looking at myself and im saying,better get some sleep! Those eye bags are horrendous.

Also special shout out to Farish for his ice cream offer, to "Siao de" and the rest of B5. Really had a great time with them. Much as I appear distant, I cherish the moments we had together as a group. Funny how much more valuable things are when they're in the past tense.They've helped me see in a way the manner to lead in a soft approach. USed to favour the hard way in the past,found it gets things done, but shouting and being fierce to people isn't going to get them going,only get things going. Things and people...people of cos more impt,so soft approach,I choose u! *throws pokeball*

Choosing to serve over having fun for the first time is also giving me a new kind of experience. having that temporary rush of enjoyment when i chose to have fun over serving in camps can be rather exciting. But once it winds down, and i go back home to sit on my couch..it just doesnt seem so exciting and meaningful already. But this time, i didnt really go to have fun. frankly,i didnt wanted to go at all,never tot it will be any kind of fun. But since Alvin going,and its trybe,just tot can go over to help out. Turns out it was fun! And the temporary rush of excitment turns into a continous joy to be able to reach out and touch lives. Sure it aint as high intensity in excitment levels, but its a continuous thing. And when i sit on my couch again,i can smile to myself about the new friends i have made and how much they have done to change my life and how i might have impacted them. Thank God for the opportunity to go for this camp man.

Alright,thats all for now. If i posted every single thing i learnt here,i might as well write a small book.

Oh yeah,for all 4H people from Kranji Sec,thank God for u! And hope to see y'all at the outing next saturday!

2007-01-01T15:26:00.000+08:00

One important person Im resolute in cherishing more. Haha. Mingli Mei!! My history with her a bit long le,but not boring. Here's what she thinks of Jaren Version 1.0 to Jaren Version 2.2.

Version 1.0 was the one i kn at the chin up bar
1.1 is u and zw so bad, bulli me one
1.2 is u become my god bro
1.3 is u become my very dearly and close god bro
1.4 is the one we had cold war bcos of foong ming
1.5 is the cold war ended bcos u apologised to me
1.6 is the one when the cold war begins to heal and we get to talk again
1.7 is demand chocs but get it slow
1.8 is the time we never meet but u also ignored me sometimes bcos of ur stead
1.9 is we never even contact den onli sometimes sms u cos u A levels
2.0 is when u finally rmb me and contact me and realised how i have changed
2.1 is u wrote me a testimonial to say i don look like a chimp anymore but its still seems so bad
2.2 is the time when u contact me and help me think of my prob and give me advice more
2.3 i am waiting to see

Feel a bit bad about the times I ps and neglect her. And that stupid long cold war. haha.

ANyways,I got one version list for her too. Check out her blog for more details =D

2007-01-01T13:47:00.000+08:00

14 days later,Im back! Know been neglecting blogging a little. Haha,new year's resolution for this : twice per week? No no no! Cannot have that question mark behind. Let me try that again, New Year's Resolution in terms of blogging: twice per week!! Haha. If there's one thing i could take away from an otherwise meaningless but super high countdown party ytd,its the predetermination that EJ was talking about.

If im going make that new year resolution come thru,then I better be convicted in deciding that Im gg do it. Else... the results will be like this year. So much for doing all my hwk on time in JC,for treasuring the people around me,for making full use of my time instead of my virtual time,for the many regrets in 2006. As i think back on the past year,I can safely say it was the toughest year for me ever. A levels,problem after problem,nothing I have ever encountered on my short journey. Yet there's always that silver lining in every cloud. There's light yonder!!! There're so many things I should be thankful of... Despite my parent's pending divorce,i know they still love us. Despite my failed r/s, I know I finally got myself out of a downward spiral. Despite my weak grades,Im thankful that they're not the failing kind. Despite my shallow pockets,Im glad I have enough to get by. These are just the obvious ones,but there're thousands of other small things I see the light in. Yet the root that sprouts the light: CHRIST! Cos in Him i see the light that overpours those darknesses I once saw. Words cant explain how I feel,but all i need to know is that its only cos of Him and therefore I appreciate it.

Wow that was a long paragraph... SOmetimes when I write I just get carried away. Ok moving on to more New Year resolutions. Number 1...*drum roll* Shining wherever I go! I kn very general,but i need a workplan ma. After that then can come out with training plan rite. =S Number 2... Never worry over things so much again! Number 3... Know even more friends! Number 4... Cherish the people I have now! Number 5... Get a job! =S Number 6... Learn more Thai(Teacher this's for u man ;D)
Ok I think thats all that Im truly convicted in. Other things I may say i wanna do,but i dont have the real motivation to pull thru. Like EJ said,sacrifices have to be made if i wanna decide to do sth and follow up,well i dont feel like im prepared to sacrifice more for other stuff.

Hmm..i didnt intended this to be a long post,so I better stop here. This is where we've come to... 2007. May it bring more lessons than 2006 and be a year of miraclous results!

2006-12-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

What a not so good way to end an otherwise great week.

Missed service today,missed sending my thai people off ytd,missed saying goodbye to my fellow syc-ians 05. All cos I fell sick on the last morning of SYC 06! Drats.. to the point Siew Siew "demanded" I either go see doc or go back home. So they sent me home early. Felt really bad but I was too giddy and in pain to think too much. Same for this morning,wanted to wake up but by the time my mind cleared up,it was like 12 plus in the afternoon le. =X

Not going be a long post today,cos Im still feeling quite crappy... Desperately need healing I think. Will update more next time. Stay tuned for my wonderful time in SYC,the friendships made,the lessons learnt,the experiences encountered,the hits,and the misses. Its my first time touching a computer in one week,so my fingers are not working as quick as they were too. Haha.Well..til next time,keep praying for body aches,stomach pains,giddiness,nausea,sorethroat,head throbs,coughs and flu =S

2006-12-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

Well,its been sometime since I last posted. To be honest,it was more laziness than anything. Still feeling the laziness,but gotta do something to kick off that. So better blog. Haha.

Since everybody else is blogging about their marathon experience last Sunday morning,maybe I should too.

Woke up at like 430 am just to get there,and considering I slept like 2 plus cos I was watching soccer,I think reaching there on time was a big achievement to me le. Whahahahaaa!

Well.. the 21km,the first 10 were no kick,but as i went on,my tiredness settled in. And my stomach. Oh boy!!! did they hurt... Was super hungry even before i went to the place,cos didnt really take dinner the previous day. Had no time for breakfast either. So basically i was running on an empty tank. Stomach growling all the way... Guess that justifies my 6 bananas along the way,and that in turn justifies the stitches i suffered. Haha. If it were only hunger it still wouldnt be that bad,but to be hungry and still have the need for the toilet bowl cos of stomachaches! That's irony!! I stopped like in total 10 plus min to clear man.. And once i stopped.... Well I lose momentum. The run was torturous at the end. after all the eating bananas and toilet stops. never exercised much before the marathon,in fact the last time i ran was during that futsal competition. So my legs couldnt take the stop-go-stop-go fashion. Walk also cramp. And what made it worse was being alone. (i lost everybody when i lagged behind in the loo)

The 2nd half of the marathon was really playing with my mind. Kept thinking of giving up. After all i got a lot of excuses ma,stomachache,never train,hungry,alone.. But the thought of just quitting halfway.....especially when I agreed to ran in the first for the plain reason of completing the marathon together with a few of my bros... That wont do. Guess that was what kept my legs pumping.

Ignored the stomachaches and gnawing hunger and just ran faster,wanted to catch up with them.. Ran for around another 6k,then i bo luc liao. Legs cramped..i had to stop and rest. My stomach was in the worse shape i can ever remember, was bending over in pain at the side of the road. Actually lucky i not with my bros,or else they will have to stop with me,and lose all their momentum. I stopped there very long,and didnt start running again.. just walked,until i caught up with ahgong and julee and aunna. Haha.

When i saw them i super super super super super estatic man! FINALLY GOT COMPANY!!! Haha. Met them for like 2klick to go. So we walked together. At the ending part,we all ran.. Ran with our legs cramping and my stomach seemingly exploding,ran past that darn finishing beeping line. Haha.. While i didnt complete the race with my bros,at least i completed the race CLOSE to them. My timing was bad,but that didnt bother me too much.. Just glad I COMPLETED THAT DARN 21KLICK!

Oh yeah,did i mention? Im not gonna run again for the next month!! =P

2006-12-05T10:20:00.000+08:00

Darn..i injured my leg again. My left knee this time. Just as my right was about to recover too! Oh well... =X

*wobbly legs*